Please Revise It: another version of self-introduction for the coming MBA interview Dear teachers: My name is WYX, 32 years old from Chuzhou City, Anhui Province. I graduated from Shanghai Normal Uni

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Owen9527

Please Revise It: another version of self-introduction for the coming MBA interview Dear teachers: My name is WYX, 32 years old from Chuzhou City, Anhui Province. I graduated from Shanghai Normal University with Western Economics major. After graduation, I have been working in finance for more than 13 years. In the past 10 years, I worked mainly in real estate companies as an accounting manager. Before leaving the postgraduate examination, I have resigned and concentrated on preparing for the CPA exam and this exam. I am a motivated and self-disciplined person who is eager to realize my own life value. I have been dealing myself in the professional field. By the end of 2018, I have already obtained the “Medium Level Accountant Title” , the “Primary Level Accountant Title” and passed 4 professional courses of CPA. The remaining 2 courses are expected to be accepted in October 2019, and then I can get my CPA certificate. At the same time, I have always had a Master Degree dream. Due to work and personal issues, I decided to take the postgraduate examination in 2018, and then went to Nanjing to develop. Therefore, I applied for the MPAcc of Nanjing University Of Finance & Economics University (NUFE). Because of not being familiar with the Nanjing’s colleges before, I only knew that NUFE might suit my major, so I chose to apply for that college. However, due to many years of working, the test ability was not as good as before, so the test results was not satisfied, I only got 187 points but it’s beyond the National cutoff line which is about 165 points. That’s why I apply for transfer from NUFE’s MPAcc to HHU’s MBA. However, I have learned that many MBA majors also have research directions in finance and accounting, and for an accounting staff, it is not only to obtain the MPAcc certificate will have a better development. In addition, after many years of hard working, I know that it is not only about the family background, or the University name that determine a person's development ability. The more important thing is individual's long-term and persistent efforts. Studying and living in Nanjing is my best choice and dream. I implore you could give me a chance to study MBA here. Today maybe I could be proud of being a student of NC/HH/NL’s MBA, and maybe in the future, NC/HH/NL University will be proud to have a student like me. Okay, that’s all. Thanks again for making me to speak about myself. Thank you.

Corrections · 6

Please Revise It: another version of self-introduction for the coming MBA interview

Dear teachers:

My name is WYX. I am 32 years old, and live in Chuzhou City, Anhui Province. I graduated from Shanghai Normal University with a major in Western Economics in YEAR.

Since graduating, I have been working in finance for more than 13 years. In the past 10 years, I worked primarily at real estate companies as an accounting manager. Before leaving the postgraduate examination (<- can't edit that because I don't know what it means), I left work to concentrate full time on preparing for the CPA exam and this exam.

I am a motivated and self-disciplined person who is eager to realize my own life value. I have achieved steady growth in my professional field. By the end of 2018, I had already obtained the “Medium Level Accountant Title” , the “Primary Level Accountant Title” and passed four professional CPA courses . I expect the remaining two courses are expected to be accepted in October 2019, and then I will receive my CPA certificate.

At the same time, I have always had a dream of obtaining a Masters Degree. Due to work and personal issues, I decided to take the postgraduate examination in 2018, and then went to Nanjing to develop. Therefore, I applied for the MPAcc of Nanjing University Of Finance & Economics University (NUFE). Because of Not being familiar with the Nanjing’s colleges before, I only knew that NUFE might suit my major, so I chose to apply for that college. However, due to many years of working, the test ability was not as good as before, so the test results was not satisfied (this part is hard to edit because I can't tell if you were not personally satisfied or if the result did not satisfy the requirement), I only got 187 points but it’s beyond the National cutoff line which is about 165 points. That’s why (I don't understand why the score is the reason for the application) I apply for transfer from NUFE’s MPAcc to HHU’s MBA.

However, I have since learned that many MBA majors also have research directions in finance and accounting. For a professional accountant, this offers better development opportunities than a MPAcc certificate alone. In addition, after many years of hard working, I know that it is not only about the family background, or the University name that determine a person's potential. The most important thing is individual's commitment and hard work.

Studying and living in Nanjing is my first choice and dream. I humbly request that you give me a chance to study MBA here. I am ready to be a proud of being a student of NC/HH/NL’s MBA, and maybe in the future, NC/HH/NL University will be proud to have a student like me.

Okay, that’s all. Thanks again for giving me the opportunity to speak about myself. Thank you.

thank you very much. I really apprecate it. Medium Level Accountant is not a job title, it's a certifacate on accounting . thanks Greg and Ben. I'll revise it to make it better.

Hi Owen, Ben already did an excellent revision. Minor mistake towards the end, it should be "I am ready to be a proud student of NC/HH/NL’s MBA, and maybe in the future, NC/HH/NL University will be proud to have a student like me." (cancel "of being") From your other notebook entry, it sounds to me that you need to present this orally in an interview right ? For such an important interview, I suggest engaging a professional teacher to drill you on this script orally (on skype etc) until you get it smooth with no mistakes. Reading it to yourself and presenting it in front on an interview panel is totally different. Go all out and give yourself the best chance of success. Good luck!

This is a much stronger personal introduction than the other version. There are minor English errors, but if I received this in an application I would not be concerned about those. My advice would be: Double check the job titles like "Medium Level Accountant Title". You put it in quotes (which makes me think you copied it exactly) but it sounds like a bad translation. An English job title would never end in "title". And "Medium" is not usually used. Levels are things like "junior", "associate", "senior", "principal". In the following paragraphs you use a lot of acronyms. That's okay if you are sure the person reading will know what they mean, but if you are not sure, spell them out once (like you did for NUFE).

I’ll go to 3 colleges to take 3 interviews for my MBA degree in next 3 or 4 days. And every interview has a self-introduction in English. So I have done a rough draft as follows. Could anyone please revise it for me, because it really means a lot for me. Thank you so much. Gratitude in advance.

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