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15th day 2019 Today I want to talk about how I fight with fear. I wouldn't say that I'm a brave person, as I gave up many things because of fear. But when the situation is really serious I have to find a way to win the fear. Now I would like to give you an example. In 2003 I jumped with a parachute. I was sure, that I would jump, but when a helicopter took off, I realized there is no way back except for jumping. It was a moment I felt real fear. When the aircraft gained altitude, the instructor said: "go..." In order to avoid my survival instinct, I turn off my brain and ordered my body move. And it worked. I went out of the helicopter without hesitation.

Corrections · 5

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15th day 2019

Today I want to talk about how I fight with fear. I wouldn't say that I'm a brave person, as I gave up many things because of fear. But when the situation is really serious I have to find a way to win the fear. Now I would like to give you an example. In 2003 I jumped with a parachute. I was sure, that I would jump, but when a helicopter took off, I realized there is no way back except for jumping. It was a moment I felt real fear. When the aircraft gained altitude, the instructor said: "go..." In order to avoid my survival instinct, I turn off my brain and ordered my body move. And it worked. I went out of the helicopter without hesitation.

1. win - No one really says that they're going to 'win' their fear, rather we would say 'conquer my fear'. 

2. Now I would like to give you an example - This doesn't flow very well. Part of writing is not only being grammatically correct, but flowing your sentences together in a way that makes you appear fluent. Try to connect this with your previous sentence, or better yet something like 'I believe the best way to discuss the matter is to provide an example from my previous experiences, like the time I jumped from a helicopter'. This peaks the readers interest and will have them reading for more. 

3. I jumped with a parachute - Where? On the ground? In your apartment? Maybe saying 'the time I went skydiving' would be better. 

4. a - Which helicopter? The one in Wyoming? The one in Argentina? 'The' helicopter is more specific to your situation. 

5. moment I felt real fear - 'really afraid' would be better here. 

6. I turn off - 'turned off' as you're talking about the past, not the present. 

7. body move - 'body to move'

8. And it worked - This sentence is too short, try combining it with the previous or last sentence to make it seem more natural.     

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Today I want to talk about how I fight against my fear. I wouldn't say that I'm a brave person, as I gave up many things because of fear. But when the situation is really serious I have to find a way to win the fear. Now I would like to give you an example. In 2003 I jumped with a parachute. I was sure, that I would jump, but when a helicopter took off, I realized there is no way back except for jumping. It was a moment I felt real fear. When the aircraft gained altitude, the instructor said: "go..." In order to avoid my survival instinct, I turn off my brain and ordered my body move. And it worked. I went out of the helicopter without hesitation.
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