graphs about the nubmer of emplyment (Could you help me correct my writing)

                   (in 1975 the number  of women workers was less than the number of men workers regardless of what sector they were in)

were in in 1975. The situation was different from that in 1995. They were two departments that more female

                           (different than that of 1995)                                    (there were two departments with more female workers)

workers worked for in 1995. 

Secondly, the numbers of male staff rarely changed. It was strange that almost every sector happened like this.

                                                                                               (that this was true in almost every sector)

Only the people of public sector (defence) decreased a little bit and the number of Finance department increased about 100.     Are you talking about men here?      (Only the number of men)

Moreover, the Freedonia added the women enormously in most of sectors, especially Finance and

              Omit "the" with Freedonia,        instead of "added the women enormously " use "added an enormous number of women"

Communications. But Public sector(non - defence) and Manufacturing still unchanged.

                                 However, the public sector and manufacturing were unchanged

We can see more women engaging in working than before. The society maybe accept the women developing the

                                              engaging in work                                    Maybe society is accepting women developing their careers

career of their jobs instead of just taking care of their family at home. In addition, the men need to try harder. Because staying unchangeable is a walk back.

try harder, because staying unchangeable is a step backwards