AN ANECDOTE
When I was a child; my sister and me, used to visited my grandmother in her village, it was located in the west of Spain; she lived in a big stone house, without heating; the kitchen had a coal heater; and while in the kitchen there was enough heat, the rest of the house was frozen.
One of that days, my sister and me were playing cards and eating a delicious cookies handmaden by my grandma, when someone picked on the door, suddenly she opened the door, it was her neighbour; they were talking for a moment and then mi grandma said us that she had already cleaned the house, and ordered us to not get dirty the house; after that she put her coat on, and went out.
Next was that I didn't realised what had happened, i only remembered that I woke up in a hospital; my parents look very relievable, my sister and me had been sleeping a cause of the gas about three hours, and they had been despaired . Luckily we recovered the health.
Fortunately it only was an anecdote in my life, but nowadays I continue turning my blood to ice when I am in a closed bedroom, so I need to open the windows or the doors for a few minutes in every hour.
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Corrections · 4
1
AN ANECDOTE
When I was a child; my sister and I, used to visit my grandmother in her village. It was located in the west of Spain. She lived in a big stone house, without heating. The kitchen had a coal heater, and while in the kitchen there was plenty of heat, the rest of the house was freezing (cold).One day, my sister and I were playing cards and eating some delicious homemade cookies made by my grandmother, when someone knocked on the door. My grandmother opened the door and it was her neighbour. They were talking for a moment and then my grandmother told us that she had already cleaned the house and ordered us to not make a mess. After that she put her coat on and went out.
I have no idea what happened after that - I only remember that I woke up in the hospital. My parents look very relieved. My sister and I had gone to sleep because of a gas leak and were out about three hours and our parents feared the worst . Luckily we recovered the health.
Fortunately, it is nothing more than an anecdote in my life, but even now, the blood freezes in my veins when I am in a closed bedroom, and I have to open the windows or the doors for a few minutes in every hour.
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grammatical corrections in green - stylistic/idiomatic suggestions in yellow
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Not bad!
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0
When I was a child; my sister and me, used to visited my grandmother in her village, it was located in the west of Spain; she lived in a big stone house, without heating; the kitchen had a coal heater; and while in the kitchen there was enough heat, the rest of the house was frozen.
One of that days, my sister and me were playing cards and eating a delicious cookies handmaden by my grandma, when someone picked on the door, suddenly she opened the door, it was her neighbour; they were talking for a moment and then mi grandma said us that she had already cleaned the house, and ordered us to not get dirty the house; after that she put her coat on, and went out.
Next was that I didn't realised what had happened, i only remembered that I woke up in a hospital; my parents look very relievable, my sister and me had been sleeping a cause of the gas about three hours, and they had been despaired . Luckily we recovered the health.
Fortunately it only was an anecdote in my life, but nowadays I continue turning my blood to ice when I am in a closed bedroom, so I need to open the windows or the doors for a few minutes in every hour.
One of that days, my sister and me were playing cards and eating a delicious cookies handmaden by my grandma, when someone picked on the door, suddenly she opened the door, it was her neighbour; they were talking for a moment and then mi grandma said us that she had already cleaned the house, and ordered us to not get dirty the house; after that she put her coat on, and went out.
Next was that I didn't realised what had happened, i only remembered that I woke up in a hospital; my parents look very relievable, my sister and me had been sleeping a cause of the gas about three hours, and they had been despaired . Luckily we recovered the health.
Fortunately it only was an anecdote in my life, but nowadays I continue turning my blood to ice when I am in a closed bedroom, so I need to open the windows or the doors for a few minutes in every hour.
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