(Part One)

It is usually thought by Some people think that price is the most important criterion to consider when buying products or services. I don’t quite agree with that. 

First, the quality of a product or service can be the most critical element (1) criterion for us to consider when we are buying things. If the quality of products or service is inferior, not good enough, they won’t be durable. last long to be used. Sometimes, we even add pay extra money to extend the (2) warranty period of a product or service, it implies that we want to (3) ensure that  confirm they can last long enough.  can apply for a lengthy time. Companies selling products and services also want like to assure customers that their products can last. be operated for an extended period. It is not fair for companies meaningful to raise the prices without confirming  raising the quality of their products and services as well.

Second, the customer's shopping experience is another significant criterion factor to consider when making a purchase. purchasing things. If the shopping experience is satisfying,  With proper treatment, everyone will be is willing to (4) patronise buy things once again in the same shop again. Otherwise, it will just damage the business reputation of the shop by word of mouth (5). and spread the bad rumor about the selling company. In fact, a recent survey shows that the shopping experience is one of the main criteria accounts for a significant portion for for someone customers when considering whether to buy or not. to consider buying things or not.

To sum up, the price is not the top criterion first priority for that customers to consider when buying things things or services. Others criteria such as the quality of the product and the shopping experience instead may be more significant instead to help the customer decide if their purchase is (6)worthwhile.  to the customer’s mind to think if the product or service is worthy or not.

(Part Three)

Coherence and Cohesion

You have tried to arrange your ideas coherently and there is a clear progression throughout your writing. You started by presenting your stand in the 1st paragraph before proceeding with two main counter-arguments in the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs. After that, you gave a summary and emphasised again that price is not the sole criteria that will influence customers to part with their money. There is coherence and you used cohesive devices appropriately to align the reader to your sequence of thoughts (e.g First, Second, Otherwise, In fact, To sum up)

Task Achievement

You addressed the writing task by presenting a clear position throughout the response. You have also supported each main counter-argument with examples. However, there are parts which are not clearly developed and seem to be "dangling" from the rest of the argument. For example, you mentioned that "It is not meaningful to raise the price without confirming the quality of the product and services." which seems to describe your view about some unethical business practice, but your main idea for that paragraph is on quality being a key criterion, and you even supported your claim by explaining why some customers may even be willing to pay a extra premium to make sure that their products remain serviceable for a longer period. 

(Part Two)

Hi Tim Leung,

Just some suggestions for your writing:

(1) An "element" is a part of something larger. For example, wind, rain and sunshine are elements that make up the weather around us. We can use "criterion/criteria" to refer to some standard or guideline that we use to decide whether something is acceptable or not. In your case, the two guidelines would be product quality and shopping experience. Some people use "criteria" both as a singular and plural noun. This is incorrect. The singular form is "criterion" while the plural form is "criteria".

(2) The word "warranty" already has the meaning of a guarantee against product failure for a limited period of time after a purchase. Therefore, "period" which means a duration is unnecessary. You can ask a shopkeeper "how long" the warranty is, but it sounds odd to ask about the "warranty period". 

(3) We "confirm" something by checking a few times to make sure something is really true. For example, we confirm our dinner reservation by giving the restaurant a call. If we want to make sure that something really happens, we "ensure". In your case, customers would like to make sure that the product can work for a long time. 

(4) We use "patronise" to mean that we frequent a shop to buy something. 

(5) "Word of mouth" means the spreading of reviews about a shop or someone by telling others. 

(6) Something or someone who is "worthy" deserves our respect and admiration. Something that is "worthwhile" worth our investment of time, money and effort as it could add value to us.