Practice for IELTS
Describe a memorable period or event from your childhood.
You should say this:
- what the event or period was
- what happened during this event or time
- why it was memorable and what you learned from this experience
My Answer:
I don't remember much about my childhood, but one of a few vivid memories is about travel to Okinawa Island. I went there when I was six or so. Around that time, my deceased maternal grandfather was still healthy, and one day, he asked my mother to go on a trip to Okinawa Island together. So, my mother took him, my older sister and me to the place.
During the travel, we visited the World War Ⅱ memorials because my grandfather had lost his friends there in the wartime. At the memorial sites, he told me about his experiences regarding the war. I learned how dreadful the war was for the first time through his remarks. What he said at the time was shocking to me, so I can remember it clearly even now.
A couple of years after the travel, he became ill and passed away soon. Looking back, it was a valuable opportunity to learn the past catastrophe that we mustn't forget.
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Corrections · 2
1
Describe a memorable period or event from your childhood. You should say this: - what the event or period was - what happened during this event or time - why it was memorable and what you learned from this experience
My Answer: I don't remember much about my childhood, but one of a few vivid memories is about my trip to Okinawa1. I went there when I was six or so. Around that time, my deceased grandfather, on my mother's side 2 was still healthy, and one day, he asked my mother to go on a trip to Okinawa 1 together. So, my mother took my grandfather 3, my older sister and me there4.
During the visit 4, we visited the World War Ⅱ memorials because my grandfather had lost his friends there in the wartime. At the memorial sites, he told me about his experiences regarding the war. I learned how dreadful the war was for the first time through his remarks. What he said at the time was so 5shocking to me, I can remember it clearly even now. A couple of years after this trip 6, he became ill and passed away 7 . Looking back, it was a valuable opportunity to learn about a 8 past catastrophe that we mustn't forget.
This was really well written~ You have a way with words! I'm sorry about your grandad, he seemed a wise man. I included some notes below~
1. Travel implies your memory is about how you got to Okinawa. And saying Okinawa is ok on its own, because most people know its an island.
2. It more natural to say 'on my mothers side' because 'Maternal' is more of a legal word.
3. When listing people besides yourself, you should always say their name or relation to you.
4. Visit is again more about what you did in Okinawa, than how you got there.
5. Moving so here makes your statement stronger. Showing people how moved you were.
6. 'Trip' shows that the event is past tense.
7. Because you said 'a couple years after' you dont need to add 'soon after'.
8. 'A' is used because WW2 was a certain point in time. I added 'about' because 'learning about' is more natural.
Good Luck~
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