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时候我上毕业大学 等我毕业,我会去放假!我想要去来美国一会儿。之后我觉得我会去来中国啊!

Corrections · 17

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大学毕业的时候,我上

等我毕业,我就会放假!我想要去美国玩一段时间。之后我觉得我会去中国啊!

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当我大学毕业放假后,我会去度假。可能会去美国一段时间,之后或许回去中国呢!

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时候我上毕业大学到我大学毕业的时候

 

等我毕业,我会去放假度假!我想要去来美国一会儿。之后我觉得我会去来中国啊!

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the correct order of the title is 当我大学毕业以后。i suppose you meant to express as "the time when i graduate university",but in chinese order,the time when=当,graduate university =大学毕业。
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时候我上毕业大学

等我毕业,我会去放假!我想要去来美国一会儿。之后我觉得、

“去”美国,“去”中国,“去”后面直接加某地就行了,不要加“来”

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