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我今天回家的方法 今天中午三点三刻我离了学校上地铁回家。中午二点一刻学校完毕，可是因为今天是星期五，所以我留了跟朋友聊天儿。我上地铁的时候人很多了。我先上了绿线，下车以后就再上了红线，最后我边走回家边见老朋友们。现在是晚上五点三刻，我会做作业。

At 3:45 I left school and got on the train to go home. School ends at 2:15, but because it's Friday I stayed to talk with my friend. When I got on the train there were a lot of people. First I got on the green line, then right after getting off I got on the red line. Finally, while walking home I saw some old friends. Right now it's 5:45 and I'm going to do my homework later on.

Corrections · 5

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今天中午(下午) 三点三刻(45分) 我离(开) 了学校上(坐) 地铁回家。(其实) 中午(下午) 二点一刻学校完毕(就放学了) ，可是因为今天是星期五，所以我留了(一会儿) 跟朋友聊天(儿) 。我上地铁的时候人(已经) 很多了。我先上了绿线，下车以后就再(然后) 上了红线，最后我边走回家边见老朋友们(在回家路上遇到了许多老朋友) 。现在是晚上五点三刻(45分) ，我(要去) 会做作业(了) 。

At 3:45 I left school and got on the train to go home. School ends at 2:15, but because it's Friday I stayed to talk with my friend. When I got on the train there were a lot of people. First I got on the green line, then right after getting off I got on the red line. Finally, while walking home I saw some old friends. Right now it's 5:45 and I'm going to do my homework later on.

中午(下午): 上午: before 12:00 ;  中午: 12 o'clock ;  下午: after 12:00 before dinner 

三刻(45分): 通常我们使用"一刻" 表示15 分，但是一般会直接说45分，而不是"三刻". [generally we use "一刻" to take place of 15 mins, but it's not very common to say "三刻" ( we can understand though), it's better to use NUMBER directly ］


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Here are some suggestions to make it better. Firstly, 'left' is better to be translated to" 离开", " 了" is always used to dispic the finished action and is kind of like the present perfect in English. Secondly, "school ends at 2.15" is always translated to " 课(class)”, it's quite different with English. Thirdly, " while walking home I saw some old friends" is better to be translated directly to emphasize the action " meet friends" , why not use" 回家路上我见到老朋友们" ？
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Hi, Jace! It's a good story full of contents.

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