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Russia flagНаталья Владимирова
I’ve written my first poem, please check it I dream that love's a raging sea This tale's as old as time Don't try resisting. Let it be It's water is divine. Above the sky that covers you Like blanket knit of stars There's someone caring of you two Protecting hearts of scars. So in the darkest times of life Be strong and show your grit Being loved and love means being alive Your path's already lit. With help of love - you're safe and sound Hold hands, hold tight and trust. Until you love, it leaves no doubt Your love and life are just.

Corrections · 4

1

Amazing to manage so well in a second language :)


I’ve written my first poem. Please check it. /// Try not to run sentences together with just a comma to join them ;)

I dream that love's a raging sea
This tale's as old as time
Don't try resisting. Let it be
Its water is divine.    /// Possessive pronouns never have apostrophes ! "it's" is short for "it is".

Above the sky that covers you
A blanket knit of stars /// A blanket knit of stars? "Like a blanket knit of stars" adds an unwanted syllable
There's someone caring for you two  /// Do you mean "you too" = "you as well "
Protecting hearts from scars.

So in the darkest times of life
Be strong and show your grit
Being loved and love means being alive /// * you lose your metre here -
Your path's already lit.

With help of love - you're safe and sound
Hold hands, hold tight and trust.
Until you love, it leaves no doubt
Your love and life are just.


* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metre_(poetry)

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