IELTS Writing task 2 - please kindly share any feedback/correction
Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
=======================
Nowadays, we are in the Internet and communications age. Our current technological level allows the information to travel fast around the world, and it can be displayed in a lot range of screens, such as TVs, smartphones or computers. This scenario, together with the capitalism as the predominant economic system, leads to a world where advertising plays a key role in our daily life.
On one hand, I would go through the positive aspects that advertising may offer us. I support those ads that show me something new, which was unknown to me. I would have not discovered some video games which I have really enjoyed playing them. I also feel grateful to the marketing campaign that announced the new Tesla’s shop in Madrid, then I have the opportunity to visit it and see such a modern car. Advertising has provided a positive value when it allowed me live new experiences that I would have lost otherwise.
On the other hand, there are a few negative aspects that I can share from my perspective. The first one would be the manipulation that some ads try to achieve For instance, the cola drink ads that show many happy people laughing while handling a bottle of cola. I strongly believe that it aims to convince our mind that happiness and cola are closely related. Moreover, this structure is reused in cookies, car or drugs ads as well. Another negative aspect comes to my mind when I think in those typical TV shopping channels. The unique and main objective is to sell complex gadgets, which will break after a few uses and which never worked as expected.
In conclusion, I can observe both the advantages and the drawbacks of advertising in our lives. I usually try to be sceptic when I am watching an ad, in order to avoid any kind of manipulation. Everyone should carefully analyse any purchase and the real needs. Therefore, we will behave in a responsible manner and buy only what we exactly need.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 5
1
IELTS Writing task 2 - please kindly share any feedback/correction
Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.=======================
Nowadays, we are in the Internet and communications age. Our current technological level allows the information to travel fast around the world, and it can be displayed in a lot huge range of screens, such as TVs, smartphones or computers. This scenario, together with the capitalism as the predominant economic system, leads to a world where advertising plays a key role in our daily life.
On one hand, I would like go through the positive aspects that advertising may offer us. I support those ads that show me something new, which was unknown to me. I would not have not discovered some video games which I have really enjoyed playing them. I also feel grateful to the marketing campaign that announced the new Tesla’s shop in Madrid, then I have the opportunity to visit it and see such a modern car. Advertising has provided a positive value when it allowed me live new experiences that I would have lost otherwise.
On the other hand, there are a few negative aspects that I can share from my perspective. The first one is would be the manipulation that some ads try to achieve For instance, the cola drink ads that show many happy people laughing while handling a bottle of cola. I strongly believe that it aims to convince our mind that happiness and cola are closely related. Moreover, this structure is reused in cookies, car or drugs ads as well. Another negative aspect comes to my mind when I think in on those typical TV shopping channels. The unique and main objective is to sell complex gadgets, which will break after a few uses and which never worked as expected.
In conclusion, I can observe both the advantages and the drawbacks of advertising in our lives. I usually try to be sceptical when I am watching an ad, in order to avoid any kind of manipulation. Everyone should carefully analyze any purchase and the real needs. Therefore, we will should behave in a responsible manner and buy only what we exactly need.
1
Here is my correction and I hope it helps you.
We are in the Internet and communications age. Our current technological level allows information to travel rapidly around the world. It can then be displayed on many devices, such as TVs, smartphones, or computers. This, together with capitalism as the predominant economic system, leads to a world where advertising plays a key role in our daily lives.
First, I will discuss the positive aspects advertising offers. I support ads that show me something new. If it weren’t for advertising, I would not have discovered some video games that I have really enjoyed playing. I am thankful I saw the advertisement for the new Tesla shop in Madrid, since I then had the opportunity to visit and see their modern cars. Advertising has been valuable to me, because it has given me a chance to experience new things I would have missed out on otherwise.
On the other hand, I see negative aspects to advertising as well. The first one I see is the manipulation some ads try to achieve. The cola drink ads, for instance, which show lots of happy people laughing while holding a bottle of cola. I strongly believe that the ad aims to convince us that happiness and cola go together. Moreover, this strategy is used again and again in ads for cookies, cars, and prescription medicines as well. Another negative aspect comes to mind when I think about typical infomercials. The main purpose is to sell trendy gadgets which often break after a few uses and which don’t work as advertised.
In conclusion, I can see both the advantages and disadvantages of advertising in our lives. I usually try to be skeptical when I am watching an ad, in order to avoid any kind of manipulation. Everyone should carefully analyze any purchase to determine what they actually need. By doing so, we will be more responsible consumers and only buy what is truly needed.
0
You're very welcome for the feedback. I'm glad I could help.
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
