Corrections · 2
The Tragedy of (1) Okinawa, Japan
Have you ever heard of Okinawa (2) of in Japan? Okinawa has is surrounded by beautiful (3) seas and has mountains which house a variety of flora and fauna. Before it was (4)incorporated as part of Japan, these islands were called the Ryukyu Islands (琉球) and Okinawa was a flourishing trading island. In the past, Okinawa was not a part of Japan and was culturally different from Japan.Time passed and Okinawa took the military (5) centre stage during World War Two and this island was (6) devastated. Many people were killed and unfortunately, the tragedy is still unfolding. This island has been occupied by America which built a military base on this small island. Today, this base is still (7) operational and expanding. Many Okinawans are annoyed by the sound of airplanes and helicopters.
This island is still affected by military activities. I want you to be aware of the island's (8) plight. Ignorance is sin. Please let me tell the world about this tragedy.
Hi Donald,
I have not been to Okinawa, but some friends of mine shared many beautiful pictures of Okinawa during their tour there. The place is scenic and the views are breathtaking!
Just a few suggestions for your writing:
(1) We use a comma (,) when describing a location, from a specific city to a region to the country.
Example: Okinawa, Japan / Yellowknife, NWT, Canada
(2) As Okinawa is a part of Japan, we can also use the preposition "of" to express a part-whole relationship.
(3) We use "seas" in the plural form as I am referring more than one sea surrounding Okinawa (i.e. East China Sea and Philippine Sea).
(4) We use "incorporated" to mean that a region is officially assimilated as part of a country.
(5) We use "centre stage" is refer to something as the centre of attention and activity.
(6) We use the word "devastated" to refer to the destruction of a place by force.
(7) The word "operational" means that a place is still being used for business or daily routine activities of an organisation.
(8) The word "plight" means unfortunate circumstance.
** There is no space between the last word and the full stop. Example: The Japanese . (incorrect) // The Japanese. (correct)
I hope these help.
The Tragedy of OKINAWA in Japan (please correct my sentence)
Have you ever heard of Okinawa in Japan? (Do not add spaces before periods (.), commas (,) and question marks (?)) Okinawa is surrounded by beautiful seas and has mountains where many kinds of creatures live. Before being part of Japan, this island was known as 琉球 (Ryukyu) and was a flourishing trading island. This means Okinawa was not part of Japan and there has a tradition which is different from Japan a long time ago. Time passed and Okinawa was at the front of World War 2 and this island was destroyed, many people were killed and unfortunately the tragedy was continued. This island was then occupied by America and what is more, an American military base was built on this small island and until now this base is operating and expanding. Inhabitants are annoyed by the sound of airplanes and helicopters.This island until now is being destroyed. I want you to know about this tragedy. Ignorance is sin. Please let me know about other tragedies in this world.
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
