Thank you so much for trying so hard to correct my article.

Part two: While she came home, (Use When instead of While as an adverb to give action to the time she came home.) Mary's mom couldn't agree that Mary kept an eye on the cat, on account of youngster. (I'm unsure of what you're trying to say here. Can you give me another example so that I can help you better?) But Her mom thought the cat was pitiful too. As a result so she decided to help it find the house. (Using But is unnecessary here. I want to combine your two sentences by taking out As a result and adding the coordinating conjunction so.) Her mother called to ask his her friend if she wanted a dog. As a result of lonely, (Add her to describe who the mother belongs to, which is Mary, and add her again and not his since her is the noun to describe the mother.) so her friend looked after one of the cats. (Let's rewrite this part of your sentence to create a new one. Her friend agreed to look after one of the cats.) It can accompany her. ( This sentence isn't necessary, you can take it out.) Owing to no other idea, Mary took another return the park, and said goodbye to them. ( The comma isn't necessary in this sentence.) In the evening, she despondently went back to home. (The word to is not needed) (The word to is not needed) Great job on this descriptive article!!! You used a great choice of words. Please let me know if I can help you with any other corrections! -Coco Bates

Part one: I'm having trouble submitting my correction to you, but here's a detailed correction for you! Yesterday was a sunny day. so Mary went to the park after she ate lunch. (Yesterday was a sunny day, so Mary went to the park after she ate lunch. Add a conjunction word such as so to help your sentence flow) Since she liked flowers much so, she went to the flower garden. (Add a conjunction word such as since to start your sentence and rearrange much so to so much. Don't forget to add your comma after much so since this is a conjunction sentence.) A cat acted in slow motion to approach her. (Add the adverb in to give action to the cat walking in slow motion. A cat acted in slow motion is a great way to write in a poetic style, but if you are looking to write what most people would say then you could rewrite your sentence to say A cat walked slowly or A cat slowly walked... you can add a variety of adjectives and smilies to make sentence come to life.) She was excited, because the cat was cute. So she determined to bring it to come home. ( Let's combine these two sentences to make it flow easier... Since the cat was cute, she was determined to bring him home.) In the way home, there were a lot of cats following her, in that they wanted a warm home too. (Let's rearrange this sentence also... On her way home, there were a lot of cats following her because they wanted a warm home too. I added the adjective on instead of in and added the actual place to where she was going, home. I also added the conjunction word, because, to assist with bring the structure of your sentence together.)