Do celebrities deserve more privacy than they have now?
I believe that famous entertainers and athletes should have more privacy than they have now. The following are my reasons.
First of all, celebrities are just normal people who chose a career in acting, singing or playing sports. Since privacy is a fundamental human right, entertainers and athletes deserve to have privacy too. For example, if you run into a celebrity in a street, I believe that you should ask for permission before taking picture of he or she.
In addition, privacy violating behaviors may cause fetal accidents. The most well known example is Queen Diana who was died in a fetal car accident caused by chasing reporters. I think people should learn from this painful lesson, giving the celebrities more privacy that they deserve.
Last but not least, famous entertainers and athletes should have right to make friends, spend time with family and have a relationship. However, these normal social activities are strongly affected by privacy violating behaviors. For example, a celebrity can not spend quality time with his or her kids in a public park without people constantly taking pictures of them. Moreover, a celebrity probably will not take his or her kids to public places in order to protect his or her kids' privacy. In other words, privacy violating behaviors affect not only celebrities themselves but also people surrounding them. There is no way this is right.
In conclusion, I think celebrities deserve more privacy than they have now with no doubts.
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Corrections · 5
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Do celebrities deserve more privacy than they have now?
I believe that famous entertainers and athletes should have more privacy than they have now. The following are my reasons.First of all, celebrities are just normal people who chose a career in acting, singing or playing sports. Since privacy is a fundamental human right, entertainers and athletes deserve to have privacy too. For example, if you run into a celebrity in/on a street, I believe that you should ask for permission before taking a picture of him or her.
In addition, privacy violating behaviors may cause fatal accidents. The most well known example is Queen Diana who died in a fatal car accident caused by chasing reporters. I think people should learn from this painful lesson, giving the celebrities more privacy than they currently have.
Last but not least, famous entertainers and athletes should have the right to make friends, spend time with family and have/be in a relationship. However, these normal social activities are strongly affected by privacy violating behaviors. For example, a celebrity can not spend quality time with his or her kids in a public park without people constantly taking pictures of them. Moreover, a celebrity probably will not take his or her kids to public places in order to protect his or her kids' privacy. In other words, privacy violating behaviors affect not only (the) celebrities themselves but also (the) people surrounding them. There is no way this is right.
In conclusion, I think celebrities deserve more privacy than they have now without any doubt.
Very well written and reasoned! A few notes with my corrections:
In a street is not wrong, but it could seem more like the person is either in the pavement, or on the part of the street where cars usually drive, which I don't think is what you meant.
Fetal relates to fetus - an unborn baby in its mother's womb.
Have instead of deserve - you previously mentioned them deserving and not having, so saying that they don't deserve the privacy is not in line with what you previously wrote.
Adding "the" before celebrities and people makes the sentence refer back to what you wrote before, but it's not wrong to leave them out.
I hope this was useful!
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Do celebrities deserve more privacy than they have now?
I believe that famous entertainers and athletes should have more privacy than they have now. The following are my reasons.First of all, celebrities are just normal people who chose a career in acting, singing or playing sports. Since privacy is a fundamental human right, entertainers and athletes deserve to have privacy too. For example, if you run into a celebrity in a street, I believe that you should ask for permission before taking a picture of them he or she.
In addition, privacy violating behaviors may cause fetal accidents. The most well known example is Queen Diana who was killed died in a fetal car accident caused by chasing reporters. I think people should learn from this painful lesson, giving the celebrities the privacy that they deserve. more privacy that they deserve. The way you wrote it, makes it sound like celebrities already have more privacy than they deserve which is the opposite effect you are trying to communicate,.
Last but not least, famous entertainers and athletes should have the right to make friends, spend time with family and have a relationship. However, these normal social activities are strongly affected by privacy violating behaviors. For example, a celebrity can not spend quality time with his or her kids in a public park without people constantly taking pictures of them. Moreover, a celebrity probably will not take his or her kids to public places in order to protect his or her kids' privacy. In other words, privacy violating behaviors affect not only celebrities themselves but also people surrounding them. There is no way this is right.
In conclusion, I think celebrities deserve more privacy than they currently have now with no doubts.
Very good job. Completely understandable and only a few grammar errors!
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