[195 In Busan, Korean. (5)]
Would you mind correcting my essay? If you were me, how would
you go about writing it?
Which part should I describe in detail? I hope my explanations are clear. I hope you can understand this.
There are many street stands on the street in downtown of Busan. They are located in front of the Lotte Department Store which is most famous and popular department store in Koran.
I thinks that the street stands are mobile restaurant and bar. The customers sit down on the chairs while eating and drinking.
Someday, I’d like to If visit these restaurants. I’ll be able to know the local Korean food and related culture.
Have you ever beet to there? If you have, just tell me.
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Corrections · 4
0
[195 In Busan, Korean. (5)]
There are many street stands (1) on the street in (2) downtown of Busan. They are located in front of the (3) Lotte Department Store which is (4) the most famous and popular department store in Korea.I thinks that the street stands are mobile (5) restaurants (eateries?) and bars. The customers sit down on the chairs while eating and drinking.
Someday, I’d like to If visit these restaurants. I’ll be able to (6) know learn about the local Korean food and related culture.
Have you ever been there? If you have, just tell me.
Hi Hiro,
Do allow me to provide some suggestions for you:
(1) The phrase "on the street" is redundant as the earlier phrase "street stands" already expresses the meaning of a small stall or booth along a street, building or market.
(2) "downtown Busan" already means an area of Busan where many commercial activities occur. Hence, "of" is unnecessary.
(3) "Lotte Department Store" is already the title of the store; hence, "the" is unnecessary.
(4) Here, "the" is compulsory. When we express adjectives in the superlative form, we use a structure like this: ...... the + most + adjective...... Example: Tokyo is the most most populous city in Japan.
(5) I took a look at the picture that you have attached in this writing. Personally, I feel that these restaurants are smaller and more informal. Therefore, I am suggesting using the word "eateries".
(6) We "know" something when that information is already learnt or internalised. We "learn" about something before we "know" it.
I hope these suggestions help.
0
[195 In Busan, Korean. (5)]
Would you mind correcting my essay? If you were me, how would you go about writing it? Which part should I describe in detail? I hope my explanations are clear. I hope you can understand this.There are many street stands on the street in downtown of Busan. They are located in front of the Lotte Department Store which is most famous and popular department store in Korea.
I think that the street stands are mobile restaurant and bar. The customers sit down in the chairs while eating and drinking.
Someday, I’d like to visit these restaurants. I’ll be able to know the local Korean food and related culture.
Have you ever been there? If so, just tell me.
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