Corrections · 17
你好!我的传记。
我叫Rick, 我从美国芝加哥来。我今年二十五岁。我喜欢旅游、跑步、看书、跳舞、拍照和看中国电影。在大学中我学中文已经三年了。在这儿我希望认识所有民族的朋友。我希望与你尽快交谈。
自我介绍 (传记是一种以叙事为主的文体,主要功能是介绍传主生平的事迹的~您只是简单介绍了您自己,不能算是正规意义上的传记~)
大家好(打招呼一般放在正文中比较自然), 我叫Rick, 我来自美国芝加哥,今年二十五岁。我的喜欢游泳,跑步,看书,跳舞,摄影(比拍照更书面一些哦)以及观看中国电影。我在大学里学了三年中文(定语放在主语后面会好一些)。希望能在这里认识来自各民族的朋友们!(还是定语位置的问题,要注意哦)。希望能和大家交流的愉快~(这是一篇你的自我介绍,有的时候省略主语会显得更加亲切自然,拉近您和读者的距离)
(): reasons for my corrections.
actually, we could understand your meaning clearly and easily. Maybe what you need to do now is to focus more on some specific grammar elements in Chinesse~ I hope you could understand my clarification~ However, your chinese is good comparatively~
Hope these could help :)
你好!我的传记。
我叫Rick。来自美国芝加哥。今年二十五岁。我喜欢旅游,跑步,看书,跳舞,拍照和看中国电影。我在大学学中文有三年了。希望能在这认识所有民族的朋友。希望能和你聊聊。
Just my sugguestion, did you realize that you nearly used 我 in every sentences? You dont need to use 我 that often and it's more natural. And if you want to say that you would like to chat with somebody, 聊聊 is better than 谈谈. 加油哦!
你好!我的传记。
我叫Rick. 我来自美国芝加哥。我二十五岁。我喜欢旅游,跑步,看书,跳舞拍照和看中国电影。在大学我学中文有三年了。在这儿我希望认识所有民族的朋友。我希望和你很快谈谈.
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