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Maggie Cheng
An experience of facing a dead body. Hi there, I am trying to express an experience that I had when I saw a dead body and how it motivate me. It would be grateful if someone could check my little diary and correct them if I make any mistakes, or perhaps suggesting any alternative/better way to improve my sentences. Many thanks. Here is the dairy, Not everyone has a chance to see a dead person. Being a nurse seems inevitable. I had this experience when I first faced a dead body in front of me. I can still vividly remember that it was a quite and routine night, I was sat down at the nursing station tiring to get some nursing paper works done. And here comes a phone call from a care assistant who was quite panic and shouting for help because there was a resident seemed dead already. I can literally feel that her voice was shaking. I quickly ran to another building as fast as I could. As I stood in front of that resident, I was scared and shaking at first, my mind had gone blank, and I did not know what to do as it was my first time facing a lifelessness body. However, there was a thought telling me " You need to do something! You got to do something. You must save him, you can do this." As I was the only nurse who is on duty and there were only four carers who taking care of approximately ninety residents in two building, (I know it sounds crazy, isn't it?), I had to come up a fast and appropriate plan to deal with this emergency situation. Unfortunately, that resident did not survive because he had gone for a while when we checked him. I was tearing when I went home that day and I have questioned myself am I really capable to work as a nurse. I had spent months to build up my mind. Although it is most almost difficult when you have this kind of experience, I still feel that caring others and working as a nurse means so much to me. It makes me become a better person and I have learned so much not only how to provide care for others but life worthy experience. Life is short, and it is important that you are living without regret. A big thank you to my past speaking partners - xxx, xxx, xxx, my friends and my family and, most importantly, people who I loved and love me. From IELTS to OET English exam, I have been through frustration, tears and sadness, I also learned that all the difficulties are only temporary and I can manage to cope with these setbacks and achieve my goals and dreams. Nothing is impossible.

Corrections · 2

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An experience of facing a dead body.

Hi there,

I am trying to express an experience that I had when I saw a dead body and how it motivated me.
It would be grateful if someone could check my little diary and correct them if I make any mistakes, or perhaps suggest another way to improve my sentences.

Many thanks.

Here is the dairy,

Not everyone has a chance to see a dead body. For a nurse it seems inevitable. It was then when I first faced a dead body in front of me. I can still vividly remember that it was a quiet and routine night, I was sat down at the nursing station trying to finish some nursing paper work. ---->And then comes a phone call from a care assistant who is quite panicky and shouting for help because there is a resident who seems dead already. I can literally feel that her voice was shaking. I quickly run to another building as fast as I can. As I stand in front of that resident, I am scared and shaking at first, my mind goes blank, and I do not know what to do as it is my first time facing a lifeless body. However, there is a thought telling me "You need to do something! You must do something. You must save him, you can do this." As I am the only nurse on duty and there are only four carers to care for maybe ninety residents in two buildings, (I know it sounds crazy, doesn't it?), I have to come up a fast and appropriate plan to deal with this emergency.)<----*

Unfortunately, that resident did not survive because he was dead for a while when we checked him. I was crying when I went home that day and I questioned whether I was really capable of working as a nurse. I spent months deciding.

Although it is difficult when you have this kind of experience, I still feel that caring for others and working as a nurse means so much to me. It makes me a better person and I have learned so much not only how to care for others but also to have a worthy life experience. Life is short, and it is important that you live it without regret.

A big thank you to my past speaking partners - xxx, xxx, xxx, my friends and my family and, most importantly, people who I loved and love me. From IELTS to OET English exam, I have been through frustration, tears and sadness, I also learned that all these difficulties are only temporary and I can manage to cope with these setbacks and achieve my goals and dreams. Nothing is impossible.

*I have used the "present in the past" or "past in the present" for this section, as otherwise the tense was chaotic, changing from sentence to sentence. Alternatively, you could use the simple past. Whatever you choose, keep to it, at least for the paragraph.

Very well written!

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Could someone help me with my writing, please. :) Many thanks.

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