Introducing myself.

Could you correct the sentences that seem awkward in this paragraph to natural sounding sentences to a native speaker?


Okay. Let me introduce myself. My name is Sehun, but you can call me Hun if you want. I’m in my late twenties. I'm currently attending Hufs and I major in German. I have lived in Busan most of my life, for the last 25 years, in a detached house. Three years ago, I moved to Seoul near to a baseball stadium that looks enormous. My family consists of 4 members: elder?, younger brother, my parents and me*. I consider myself kind and caring by nature, but sadly, many people don't approach me that easily, saying their first impression of me scares them off. As for my hobbies, I enjoy reading, especially social science books, because that teaches me there is still much I don’t know. I also do weight training five days a week. Many girls don’t see lanky men as attractive guys. Do you agree with me or is that only my opinion? And.. my goal? Currently, I'm trying hard to become a translator. That’s why I chose German So, does that answer your question?

*I'm not sure about the number of family members you are referring to. You say 4 members, but your description adds up to 5.

Other than a few small mistakes it is well written.

Self-introduction:

Could you correct sentences that seems awkward in this writing to natural sentences for native speaker?


Okay. Let me introduce myself. My name is Sehun Oh but you can just call me Hun if you want. I’m in my late twenties. I'm currently attending Hufs and I major in German. I have lived in Busan most of my life for the last 25 years, in a detached house but three years ago I moved to Seoul near an enormous looking baseball stadium. My family consists of four members: an elder, younger brother, my parents and me. I consider myself kind and caring by nature but sadly, many people don't approach me that easily saying my first impression scares them off. As for my hobbies, I enjoy reading, especially social science books, because that teaches me that there is still so much I don’t know. I also do weight training five days a week. Many girls don’t see lanky men as attractive guys. Do you agree with (me/my opinion)? (either one of those is fine) And.. my goal. Currently I'm working hard to become a translator, that’s why I chose German. So, does that answer your question?

Some tips:

-Normally most names of people, titles, languages and names of places are written in a capital letter.

-Saying that you have lived in Busan for most of your life and then add -for the last 25 years is a bit repetitive, normally you might just include one.

-You don't normally put a comma (,) before "but"

-As a general rule in advanced English, for numbers 1 to 10 you would write out in full such as one, two, ten but higher and you can just write the actual numbers, 654, 21... But don't worry too much about this in informal letters it is perfectly fine. Also in more advanced English try avoid starting sentences with "And". But even I struggle to avoid this sometimes.

-Overall very good! Hope this helps.