Could you please help me with my composition？
As is portrayed in the figures, we can learn the water distribution on the earth. The earth's water includes 97.4% sea water and 2.6% fresh water. There is no doubt that the fresh water in which our human lives is in severe shortage. Moreover, according the figure on the right, the fresh water consists of 68.6% ice, 30.2% underground water and 1.2% lake, river or pond water. Obviously, the ice is difficult and unreal for us human to utilize directly. The fresh water we can drink directly only accounts for about 30% of the whole fresh water. Hence, we can draw a conclusion that the water source is not very abundant or even scare. It's time for us to protect and save the water on the earth.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 2
1
Could you please help me with my composition？
As is portrayed in the figures, we can learn the water distribution on the Earth. Earth's water includes is distributed into 97.4% sea water and 2.6% freshwater. There is no doubt that the freshwater in which our humans lives depend on is in a severe shortage. Moreover, according the figure on the right, the freshwater consists of 68.6% ice, 30.2% underground water and 1.2% lake, river or pond water. Obviously (I would avoid using the word "obviously" in more formal and scholarly writing), the ice is difficult and unreal for us human to utilize directly (You might need to expand this sentence or connect it to another one). The freshwater we can drink directly available for us to drink only accounts for about 30% of the whole total freshwater on Earth. Hence, we can draw a the conclusion that the Earth's water source (could also say: that our sources of water/freshwater. If you use the word sources change "is" to "are".) is not very abundant or even scare scarce (I would cut not very abundant and keep scarce. Your second sentence also makes the point that we have a shortage of freshwater, so you might want to change one of them in order to not sound repetitious.). It's time for us to protect and save conserve the water on the Earth.Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
