The Reason Behind Reducing Population of Sea Otters (Entry #22)
Comparing a lecture and a passage:
Many investigations show that it is actually predation that affects declining population of sea otters off the Alaskan coast, rather than the pollution hypothesis supported in the passage.
First of all, water pollution caused by oil rigs or industrial chemical substances may not be the only reason to explain this situation. If it was the water pollution that caused this decline, then why we could not find any dead sea otter bodies washed up on the shore? We know that if they were killed by certain predators, no one would expect to see dead bodies on the shore and as a matter of fact, this is what really happened.
Next, the orca used to hunt large prey, like other whales. However, recently the whales have been disappeared in that region. Therefore, the orca had to change their diets. That is why they started on eating smaller animals, such as sea otters and sea lions. This will explain why mammals other than sea otters were doomed to decline too.
Finally, the uneven pattern of otter decline, in fact, supports the predation hypothesis. Actually, the locations where the orca could easily access are the same as those where we observe the population decline occurrence.
+ Thanks in advance for the corrections :)
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Corrections · 3
1
The Reason Behind Reducing Population of Sea Otters (Entry #22) (This is probably OK, it's certainly very understandable, but it might be more normally written as, "The Reason Behind a Reduction in the Population of Sea Otters")
Many investigations show that it is actually predation that affects declining population of sea otters off the Alaskan coast, rather than the pollution hypothesis supported in the passage.
First of all, water pollution caused by oil rigs or industrial chemical substances may not be the only reason (also probably OK, but "cause" is probably somewhat better here than "reason", "cause" is used more often for mechanistic things of the natural world, while "reason" tends to be used for the reasons for human action) to explain this situation. If it was the water pollution that caused this decline, then why could do we not find any dead sea otter bodies washed up on the shore? We know that if they were killed by certain predators, no one would expect to see dead bodies on the shore, and as a matter of fact, this is what really happened.
Next, the orca used to hunt large prey, like other whales. However, recently the whales have been disappeareding in that region. Therefore, the orca had to change their diets. That is why they started on eating smaller animals, such as sea otters and sea lions. This will explains why mammals other than sea otters were doomed to decline declined at the same time. ("doomed" is considered more literary than scientific, so it feels a bit out of place here, also the main point is that other mammals were also being predated on by orcas, so "at the same time" is helpful to be clear.)
Finally, the uneven pattern of otter decline, in fact, supports the predation hypothesis. Actually, the locations where the orca could easily access are the same as those where we observe the occurence of population decline occurrence. ("...observe the decline in otter population.", is probably best here)
+ Thanks in advance for the corrections :)
0
This is a really great bit of writing. There were only a few, very minor corrections in yellow. Nothing that seemed beyond the mistakes a native speaker might make in a similar written passage.
Your English seems advanced, so I took the liberty of including some more stylistic suggestions in green.
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