Email corrections
Hello!! I have to write a formal email. Could you please correct this email and give me some tips to improve the "formality" of it?
Thank you.
"Dear Ms. XXX,
we are writing to you regarding the request of internship that we received.
We have analyzed your curriculum and we are interested into meet you in person.
If you are available it would be perfect to organize an interview on 16th of Febraury.
At the end of this email you can find the address of the theatre.
We look forward your confirmation.
Kind regards."
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Corrections · 6
1
Email corrections
Hello!! I have to write a formal email. Could you please correct this email and give me some tips to improve the "formality" of it?Thank you.
"Dear Ms. XXX,
We are writing to you regarding the internship request that we received.
We have analyzed your curriculum and we are interested into meeting you in person.
If you are available it would be perfect we would like to organizeschedule an interview on 16th of February.
At the end of this email you can find the address of the theater.
I look forward to your confirmation.
Kind regards."
I'm not sure curriculum is the right word. Curriculum means the subjects that makes up a course of study in a school or college.
Synonyms:syllabus, course of study, program of study?0
Dear Ms xxxxxx
After careful consideration of your Curriculum Vitae in relation to your internship application; We've decided that an in-person meeting is the next step that we want to take.
Does 16 February suit you?
Kind regards
0
Your email doesn't exactly need to be more formal.
It will be more powerful by being reader focused and straightforward.
First, write it in the first person and write "your request", as that is truer.
'Analyse' is inappropriate and we say 'interested in'. But write 'we would like to'.
'Perfect' is not formal. You'll need to suggest a time. You don't need to refer to the theater address if it is on the letter elsewhere.
Hope this helps.
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