I have to rewrite the first text in a more academic style. Could someone check it, please?
The following extract from an essay is written in a mixed style with colloquialisms and other inappropriate words:
Another kind of useful alternative fuel is electricity. This isn’t really a very efficient fuel right now, because the technology is somewhat limited; however, it’s fair to say that recent advances in the production of electric cars could maybe make this a reality in the future. But it is possible for cars powered with electricity to release little or no emissions, so if we want this alternative fuel to become a reality, we’ll need it in lots of cars. Maybe then it’ll make some sort of a difference. If we want this to happen, i.e., to knock a big chunk out of the pollution problem all around the world, it’ll take a while.
Rewrite it in a more academic style using:
A useful alternative fuel is electricity although it is not a considerably efficient fuel these days, because technology is rather limited. However, it is stated that recent advances in the production of electric cars will make this a reality in the future.
Even if cars powered with electricity release hardly any or no emissions, if this alternative fuel is wanted to become a reality, it will be needed in many cars. In this way, it will bring substantial changes. If this is desired, such as eliminating a portion of the pollution problem all over the world, it will be time-consuming.
I don't know if some of the changes I've made are correct or would fit in a formal/academic text.
Thanks for your help! :)
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I have to rewrite the first text in a more academic style. Could someone check it, please?
The following extract from an essay is written in a mixed style with colloquialisms and other inappropriate words:Another kind of useful alternative fuel is electricity. This isn’t really a very efficient fuel right now, because the technology is somewhat limited; however, it’s fair to say that recent advances in the production of electric cars could maybe make this a reality in the future. But it is possible for cars powered with electricity to release little or no emissions, so if we want this alternative fuel to become a reality, we’ll need it in lots of cars. Maybe then it’ll make some sort of a difference. If we want this to happen, i.e., to knock a big chunk out of the pollution problem all around the world, it’ll take a while.
Rewrite it in a more academic style using:
Electricity is a potential alternative fuel but currently is not feasible because of limited infrastructure and incompletely developed technology. However as the quality of electric cars increases it is hoped they will become more attractive to buyers in the future.
Even if cars powered with electricity release little/minimal or no emissions, it is necessary that there be a substantial number of these autos on the road, so that the cost of the infrastructure can be supported. Then, we can see a significant decrease in emissions. If the change to electric automobiles is desired as a means of decreasing hydrocarbon emissions, it will take a significant focused commitment that will even then take years.
este ejercicio esdificil porque obviamente, lo mas alto nivel, hay muchas maneras distantas de decir algo.
I don't know if some of the changes I've made are correct or would fit in a formal/academic text.
Thanks for your help! :)
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