IELTS writing task Hi everyone, I'm studying for IELTS, and trying some exercises at home, but I really need some feedback. HELP ME PLEASE!

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Claudia

IELTS writing task Hi everyone, I'm studying for IELTS, and trying some exercises at home, but I really need some feedback. HELP ME PLEASE! <3 Task 1: You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter - describe the problem with the equipment - explain how this problem is affecting your work - say what you want the shop or company to do Write at least 150 words Answer: Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with my 3d printer. I bought it two years ago and I understand that it is out of the insurance period. A few months ago it started clogging in the middle of my complex jobs. The plastic keeps getting stuck and making me stop the process. I work at home printing models for a huge company. The job that usually took me two hours now is taking me almost two days, causing me a lot of loss because of the delay. I already tried to contact the store, but because it didn’t happen in the first year after the purchase, there is nothing they can do. So it is up to the producer. I am shocked by this situation. I am asking for a proper maintenance on my printer as soon as possible, or a complete refund, so I can by one that actually works. I look forward to hearing from you at the earliest. Yours faithfully Ms. Claudia Fanfa. (171 words)

Corrections · 3

IELTS writing task

Hi everyone, I'm studying for IELTS, and trying some exercises at home, but I really need some feedback. HELP ME PLEASE! <3

Task 1:

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job
Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment.
In your letter
- describe the problem with the equipment
- explain how this problem is affecting your work
- say what you want the shop or company to do
Write at least 150 words

Answer:

Dear Sir or Madam
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with my 3d printer. I bought it two years ago and I understand that it is out of the insurance period (I would call this the "warranty period").
A few months ago it started clogging in the middle of my complex jobs. The plastic keeps getting stuck and making me stop the process (I would word this "The plastic keeps getting stuck which forces me to stop the process"). I work at home printing models for a huge ("very large" would be more formal) company. The job that usually took (used to take) me two hours now is taking me almost two days now, causing me a lot of loss because of the delay.
I already tried to contact contacting the store, but because it didn’t happen in the first year after the purchase, there is nothing they can do. So it is up to the producer. I am shocked by this situation. I am asking for a proper maintenance on my printer as soon as possible, or a complete refund, so I can buy one that actually works.
I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.
Yours faithfully
Ms. Claudia Fanfa.

Hi Claudia, This is very well written! The comments above are mostly suggestions to make it sound a bit more natural. There was only one error I would like to point out that is very subtle. If you say "I tried to contact the store, but..." it means that you were unsuccessful at contacting the store. For example, I tried to contact the store, but they didn't reply. However, if you say "I tried contacting the store" it could mean either you were successful/unsuccessful at making contact with the store, or that you did make contact with the store and the outcome of that contact was successful/unsuccessful. In this case, the rest of the sentence makes it clear that you did in fact contact the store. One final way you could say it is "I contacted the store, but...." or "I have contacted the store, but..."

I hope that helps!

IELTS writing task

Hi everyone, I'm studying for IELTS, and trying some exercises at home, but I really need some feedback. HELP ME PLEASE! <3

Task 1:

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job
Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment.
In your letter
- describe the problem with the equipment
- explain how this problem is affecting your work
- say what you want the shop or company to do
Write at least 150 words

Answer:

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with my 3d printer. I bought it two years ago and I understand that it is out of warranty. the insurance period.
A few months ago it started clogging in the middle of my complex jobs. The plastic keeps getting stuck and making me stop the process. I work at home printing models for a huge company. The A job that usually took takes me two hours is now is taking me almost two days, causing me a lot of loss because of the delay.
I already tried to contact the store, but because it didn’t happen in the first year after the purchase, there is nothing they can do. So it It [you could also use a semicolon: ...they can do; it is up to... ] is up to the manufacturer producer. I am shocked by this situation. I am asking for a proper maintenance on my printer as soon as possible, or a complete refund, so I can by one that actually works.
I look forward to hearing from you soon at the earliest.
Yours faithfully
Ms. Claudia Fanfa.

(171 words)

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