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Chieh Ju
Writing Exercise Topic: In the past, people ate food that was better for their health than they do today. Some people are of the opinion that people in the past ate food that was better for their health than they do today; others, however, begs to differ. There are several arguments in favor of either point of view, but this essay argues for the former opinion. The way I see it, people in the past consumed healthier food than they do today. First of all, walking into a supermarket, you will find different kinds of snacks, candy, and beverage displayed on the shelves. In light of the expiration date of those products, most manufacturers add certain food additives to prevent food from spoiling; nevertheless, food additives are usually made up of chemicals that are unnatural and harmful for human. In the contrast, many of the foods in the past were almost homemade. Although the food expiration date before was shorter than today, at least the food was safe and healthy for people. Secondly, many businesses replace the original materials with worse ones in order to lower the cost of products. The worst thing is that a few unscrupulous vendors use materials that have been used as raw materials to produce products, and it is hard to recognize the difference between the good one and the bad one with naked eyes. A real case happened in Taiwan several years ago. A tainted oil company adopted the same way to produce oil and caused a high risk of suffering chronic diseases for the Taiwanese. Third, currently, people are too busy to have a good meal. Some of them only have a bread to replace a lunch which should be more nutritious, and others choose fast food which was not rich in nutrients. In order to save time at work, people now tend to grab something to eat, so they don’t care too much about whether the food they eat is healthy or not. It’s clear that people in the past ate more healthily than they do today. Of course, I understand that some people may still disagree with my position on this matter; however, I think the pieces of evidence and examples provided above are strong enough to support my stance on this issue.

Corrections · 2

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Writing Exercise

Topic: In the past, people ate food that was better for their health than they do today.

Some people are of the opinion that people in the past ate food that was better for their health than they do today; others, however, begs beg to differ. There are several arguments in favor of either point of view, but this essay argues for the former opinion. The way I see it, people in the past consumed healthier food than they do today.

First of all, walking into a supermarket, you will find different kinds of snacks, candy, and beverages displayed on the shelves. In light of the expiration dates of those products, most manufacturers add certain food additives to prevent food from spoiling; nevertheless,. These additives are usually made up of chemicals that are unnatural and harmful for humans. In the contrast, many of the foods in the past were almost homemade and didn't contain these chemicals. Although the food expiration date before was shorter than today, at least the food was safe and healthy for people.

Secondly, many businesses replace the original materials with worse ones in order to lower the cost of products. The worst thing is that a few unscrupulous vendors use materials that have been used as raw materials to produce products, and it is hard to recognize the difference between the good one and the bad one with naked eyes. A real case happened in Taiwan several years ago. A tainted oil company adopted the same way to produce oil and caused a high risk of suffering chronic diseases for the Taiwanese. — This whole section doesn't really make sense. Are the "materials" ingredients? And it's unclear what "oil" means here—is it like, vegetable oil, or the kind of oil you use in factories/vehicles? I wouldn't know this paragraph had anything to do with food products if that wasn't the topic.

Third, currently, people are too busy to have a good meal. Some of them only have a slice of bread to replace a lunch which should be more nutritious, and others choose fast food which was is not rich in nutrients. In order to save time at work, people now tend to grab something to eat, so they don’t care too much about whether the food they eat is healthy or not. The part I highlighted doesn't really make sense with the rest of the sentence; do you mean something more like "In order to save time at work, people now choose the fastest options for their meals, so they don't care too much about whether the food they eat is healthy or not"?

It’s clear that people in the past ate more healthily than they do today. Of course, I understand that some people may still disagree with my position on this matter; however, I think the pieces of evidence and examples provided above are strong enough to support my stance on this issue.

Outside of that one paragraph, this was very well-written! I hope these corrections helped. :D

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