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Italy flagElisabetta
Nick Hornby, "Not a star". A summary of the first chapter. This story talk about the upsetting discovery that a mother do about her son. One day, Lynn receives in the her letter box a suspect videotape, with a letter from the their nosy neighbour, Karen. In the letter she says that in the videotape there is someone she and her husband know, so it could be interesting for they. For an istant Lynn couldn't understand until she saw a picture on the videotape: her son, Mark, that cover with his hands a naked girl. Lynn couldn't believe at her eyes. She started to think the infinite reasons why her adorable, polite and innocent child was on this picture with that girl in that strange situation.

Corrections · 4

1

Nick Hornby, "Not a star". A summary of the first chapter.

This is a story about the upsetting discovery that a mother makes about her son.
One day, Lynn receives a suspect videotape, with a letter from their nosy neighbour, Karen, in  her letterbox. In the letter she says that in the videotape, there is someone she and her husband know, so it could be interesting for them. 

For an instant Lynn couldn't understand until she saw the picture on the videotape: her son, Mark, who was covering a naked girl with his hands . Lynn couldn't believe her eyes. She started to think of the infinite reasons why her adorable, polite and innocent child was in this picture with that girl in that strange situation.


Hello Elisabetta,

This is quite good with just a few corrections. In English we only usually have one determiner. This can be a number, an article or a possessive pronoun. So we can say 'Lynne receives .... in her letterbox.'  or 'Lynne receives ... in the letterbox.' but not 'Lynne receives in her the letterbox.'

In the first line you have started the way many learners do but it is not correct. It is much better to say 'This is a story about ....'.

Hope this helps


Bob

0

This story talks about the upsetting discovery that a mother do had about her son. 

One day, Lynn received in the her letter box a suspect videotape, with a letter from the their nosy neighbour, Karen. In the letter she says that in the videotape there is someone she and her husband know, so it could be interesting for them.
For an instant Lynn couldn't understand until she saw a picture on the videotape: her son, Mark, that who covered a naked girl with his hands a naked girl. Lynn couldn't believe at her eyes. She started to think of the infinite reasons why her adorable, polite and innocent child was on this picture video with that girl in that strange situation.

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