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Japan flagHiro Miyamoto 🚄Professional Teacher
[My Trip to Sapporo City. 119] Would you mind correcting my essay? If you were me, how would you go about writing it? Which part should I describe in detail? I hope my explanations are clear. I hope you can understand them. (Part Fourteen) I like the Hokkaido nature. It’s different atmosphere and vibe between to here from my neighborhood. Also there are a bunch of sheeps in Hokkaido. This photo shows the Hitsujigaoka Observation Hill. There were several cute sheeps on the hill but we couldn’t touch them. The scenery was breathtaking and I overwhelmed a beautiful horizon. If you are interested at this place, you can see a whole nice viewing of Hokkaido from here and the Statue of Dr. William Smith Clark who was the father of pioneers in Hokkaido. I may say that instead of him “ boys and girls be ambitious!!

Corrections · 3

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I like the nature in Hokkaido. There is a different atmosphere and vibe here than in my neighborhood. Also, there are many sheeps in Hokkaido.
This photo shows the Hitsujigaoka Observation Hill. There were several cute sheeps on the hill but we couldn’t touch them. The scenery was breathtaking and I was overwhelmed by the beautiful horizon.
If you are interested, you can get a nice view of Hokkaido from here, including the Statue of Dr. William Smith Clark who is known as the father of pioneers in Hokkaido.
However, I would change his quote to "boys and girls be ambitious"!!

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You might add some details about your experience to make the essay more interesting.

For example, what is different about the atmosphere of Hokkaido compared to your neighborhood?

Where is Hitsujigaoka Hill, and do you have to drive there or take a bus? Is it an interesting trip?

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[My Trip to Sapporo City. 119]

Would you mind correcting my essay? If you were me, how would
you go about writing it?
Which part should I describe in detail? I hope my explanations are clear. I hope you can understand them.

(Part Fourteen)

I like Hokkaido's nature. It has a different vibe and atmosphere compared with my hometown. Also there is a flock of sheep around the area.

This photo was taken from the Hitsujigaoka Observation Hill. There were some cute sheep on the hill but we were not allowed to touch them. The scenery was breathtaking and I was overwhelmed by the beautiful horizon. or I was overwhelmed to see such beautiful horizon.

If you are interested in this place, you will be able to see from here a nice view of whole Hokkaido and the Statue of Dr. William Smith Clark who was the father of pioneers in Hokkaido.


If I may change something in his motto, I would rather say instead “ boys and girls be ambitious!".

Absolutely breathtaking :) 


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