Search from various English teachers...
France flagPauline
Can you correct my essay please ? Nobody can deny the dangers of tobacco. The risks for health, particularly of the lungs and the throat are obvious. More worryingly, tobacco is also a threat for people who don’t smoke but who live with smokers and who breathe every day smoke. Must we accuse cigarette makers of menacing people’s life? This is a hot-button because we can also say, that people are free to choose of smoking or not. But this needs however qualifying because cigarette makers make sure that the quantity of nicotine is enough to create an addiction, according to some experts. To curb this global scourge, the United States recently decided to address the problem by convicted cigarette companies of making ads on TV and on the newspapers to educate people about the dangers of smoking. But even if the number of smokers has been regularly decreased for 50 years, some experts sound the alarm about constant and major problems: the development of illegal secondhand cigarettes worried the medical institutions, the easy access to cigarettes for the youngest people harms their mental development, and the powerful lobby of cigarettes makers has a considerable impact on the popularity of their products and consequently on people’s health. Thus, if a total ban of the cigarettes seems obviously doomed to failure, changing mindset of the population could be the priority to educate them, after they begin to smoke and become fiercely addicted, about the major and irreversible risks of smoking.

Corrections · 1

0

Can you correct my essay please ?

Nobody can deny the dangers of tobacco. The health risks, particularly of the lungs and the throat, are obvious. More worryingly, tobacco is also a threat for people who don’t smoke but who live with smokers and who regularly breathe smoke.
Must we accuse cigarette makers of menacing people’s life? This is a hot-button because we can also say that people are free to choose whether or not to smoke. However, this needs qualifying because cigarette makers ensure that there is enough nicotine to create an addiction, according to some experts.
To curb this global scourge, the United States recently decided to address the problem by convicted cigarette companies of making ads on TV and on the newspapers to educate people about the dangers of smoking. [I'm not sure what you mean by this sentence.]
But even if the number of smokers has been regularly decreased for 50 years, some experts sound the alarm about constant and major problems: the development of illegal secondhand cigarettes worried the medical institutions, the easy access to cigarettes for young people harms their mental development, and the powerful lobby of cigarettes makers has a considerable impact on the popularity of their products and consequently on people’s health.
Thus, if a total ban of the cigarettes seems obviously doomed to failure, changing mindset of the population could be the priority to educate them, before they begin to smoke and become fiercely addicted, about the major and irreversible risks of smoking.

Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today