Fathom sufferings People create the unhappiness by themselves. In general, many people search reason of sufferings in the rest world. Somebody believes that unloved work destroys his or her life. Somebody thinks that a wife or a husband is the reason for all sufferings. But suffering starts in our own mind and then we're searching ways for explaining it in the enviroment. It leads to struggling with other people and circumstances. But the main and the most dangerous enemy is inside us. We program our minds to sufferings and our minds are searching new causes for a pain in the reality. How can we stop it? I like the one of the basic psychological concept: fight or flight . It means you should make the only definite solution in some situation. You can fight with circumstances and interrupt relationship or situation, which is caused of suffering. For example, you file for divorce, because you understand you can't be happy with this person. And it stop your everyday pain. The second method is an acceptance of the situation with all pros and cons. You don't change conditions of your life, because its not so bad as you imagined. For instance, your wife isn't so grumpy, old or boring how you see her. You should change your own perception and accept the situation. And sufferings will stop too. So, two simple ways and nothing else: fight or flight. The reconstruction of own psyche, especially without help of professional psychologist, is a really hard work. You can't do it with the one movement. On the contrary, it will be many small movements. It seems like the repairs of the complex technical mechanism - you need reading a long instruction before you will fix a small detail. But step by step every detail takes the right place and mechanism starts to work without your control.