correct it base on form ielts writting task 2
(please help me correct it, my vocabulary is so poor, if you have any new vocabulary, please give me . Thank you so much)
Many people believe that social networking websites have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. To what extend do you agree or disagree.
Social networking sites are becoming popular and have more than 2 billion social networking user around the world like Facebook, skype,.. and so on. Many people assume that it is harmful to society. Personally, it depends on how we use them to be helpful with one’s life.
First of all, the benefit of social networking websites. The main purpose of social media is found as well as connected to friend, colleague and family. Social networking is also shared pictures, video and special events in life even make a call with one person or small group. We are no charge fee or worry about where they are now. By this way, my communicable skills was improved. I find it comfortable and easier than face to face with. More over, I exchange news, lesson and get updates or seek the new job.
But it doesn’t mean social media always useful. We can waste a lot of time using them. Instead, we could study something such as learning new tongue. Increasing using internet is one of causes a high risk of eye related diseases or obesity. Besides, when taking any social platform, we must provide own information. Bad guys would take advantage of our prestige to make an awful thing.
To conclusion, social networking websites clearly show both positive and negative effects on people throughout the world. Advantaged or disadvantaged of using social network, depending on the way we choose.
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correct it base on form ielts writting task 2 IELTS Writing Task 2
Social networking sites, (such as Facebook and Twitter), are becoming ever more popular, (and have) with more than 2 billion social networking users around the world like Facebook, skype,.. and so on. Many people assume that it is they are (OR this technology is) harmful to society. Personally, I believe, it depends on how we use these sites, as they can be both a help and a hindrance.
Firstly of all, I will discuss/reference the benefits of social networking websites. The main purpose of social media is to find and connect to with friends, colleagues and family. Social networking is also allows us to shared pictures, video, and special events in life, and even make free personal or group (phone)calls We are no charge fee or worry about where they are now. Keeping/staying connected with one another (on these sites) offers peace of mind. In this way, my communication skills was have improved. I also find it comfortable more convenient and easier than face-to-face communication. Moreover, I exchange news, take lessons, get updates, and seek the new job employment, using social media.
But However, it doesn’t mean that social media is always useful. We can waste a lot of time using these sites. Instead, we could choose to do something more productive such as learning another language. Society's increasing use of the internet is one of causes of increased risk of eye related diseases or and obesity. Besides this. Also, when joining any social platform, personal information must be provided, which may have an impact on both our privacy, and the possibility of identity theft. Bad guys would take advantage of our prestige to make an awful thing.
In conclusion (OR To conclude), social networking websites have been clearly shown to have both positive and negative effects on people throughout the world. There are advantages or disadvantages of using social networks, depending on the way we choose to use them.
- Remember to ALWAYS have a VERB in your sentences - NO VERB, NO SENTENCE.
- When I use the term 'SOCIAL MEDIA', I consider it singular. Social Media is great. Everyone uses IT.
- Try to limit use of personal pronouns, and be consistent throughout the text.
e.g. We can waste a lot of time on social media. (Remove the pronoun).
.- A lot of time is wasted/spent using social media. This time could be better spent.
= Too much time spent on social media can lead to a lot of time being wasted./Excessive use of social media may be harmful.
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