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My new toy I visited my friend in Berlin last week. He told me about new model of electric grill. I immediately wanted to buy it. When I came back Russia I bought it. After that I've gone buying beef meat and vegetables to food store. I cooked it. It was awesome. The steaks were perfectly cooked. It was easy to cook. I've invited my friends for dinner. Everyone has been fed and satisfied. One of my guests said me "You are god of bbq". It was a pleasure for me, but I did nothing, because grill is fully automatic. I just needed to put in the grill peace of meat or vegetables and waited to ready. I'm happy with the purchase. I'm gonna cook a fish next weekend. Mmmm... delicious, would you like it?

Corrections · 4

1

My new toy

I visited my friend in Berlin last week, and he told me about a new model of electric grill. I immediately wanted to buy it, so when I came back to Russia, I bought it. After that bought beef, meat and vegetables from the store. I cooked then, and they were awesome. The steaks were easy to prepare, and were cooked perfectly. I invited my friends for dinner, and everyone was fed and satisfied. One of my guests said me, "you are the god of bbq". It was a pleasure for me, but I did nothing, because thegrill is fully automatic. I just needed to put vegetables or a piece of meat in the grill and wait for it to be ready.

I'm happy with the purchase. I'm gonna cook a fish next weekend. Mmmm... delicious, would you like some?
1

My new toy

I visited my friend in Berlin last week. He told me about a new model type of electric grill. I immediately wanted to buy it. When I came back to Russia I bought it. After that I've gone went to the grocery store to buying beef, meat and vegetables to food store. I cooked it. It was awesome. The steaks were perfectly cooked. It was easy to cook. I've invited my friends for to dinner. Everyone has been was well fed and satisfied. One of my guests said told me, "You are the god of bbq". It was a pleasure for me, but I did nothing, because the grill is fully automatic. I just needed to put in the grill peace of the meat or vegetables into the grill and waited for them to be ready.

I'm happy with the purchase. I'm gonna going to cook a fish next weekend. Mmmm... delicious, would you like it some?

(Teacher's note: Where's the past perfect/past continuous?)

0
Very well written article, well done! Next time, look at tenses (past, present and future) - because you are writing in a journal, you are talking about the past, so instead of 'everyone has been fed and satisfied', use 'everyone was fed and satisfied'. Your sentences are also very short. Using words like 'so' and 'and' can make two short sentences one big sentence. And don't forget to use 'a' for objects, like 'a' new model of electric grill! Nice work :)

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