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Using "If.. I would have". (2) Three years ago, I was backing from school, near my house, one street away, when a boy around five years older then me, stole my cell phone, I mean, he ordered me to give him it and I was afraid then I did. I was about fifteen years olde and perhaps he was about twenty. As I was close to my house, I ran at it and called my dad through the phone. I told him averything that had happend and he called to police. Nearly six minutes later, the police was in my home calling me, they asked me to go with them trying to find the thief, and as I wanted my cell phone back, I went. After about ten minutes looking for the thief, we found him, I recovered my cell phone, and he had some drugs too. The matter was when he looked at the police's car, and I was inside it, problably he reminded who I was. After that, I was allways thinking that one day, when he scapes and/or not be in jail anymore, he'd back and try hurt me, or something like that. Now a days I'm not afraid for that, but if I could I'd not have gone at all with the police, I'd have let the police goes alone, and he'd not have seen my face.

Corrections · 4

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Using "If.. I would have". (2)

Three years ago, I was returning from school - near my house, one street away - when a man around five years older than me, stole my cell phone. I mean, he ordered me to give it to him and I was afraid, so I did. I was about fifteen years old and perhaps he was about twenty. As I was close to my house, I ran to it and called my dad on  the phone. I told him everything that had happened and he called the police. Nearly six minutes later, the police were in my home. They asked me to go with them to find the thief, and as I wanted my cell phone back, I went. After about ten minutes of looking for the thief, we found him. I recovered my cell phone, and he had some drugs too. The matter was when he looked at the police car, and I was inside it, probably he remembered who I was. After that, I was always thinking that one day, when he escapes and/or is not in jail anymore, he'd come back and try to hurt me, or something like that. Nowadays, I'm not afraid of  that, but if I could I'd not have gone at all with the police. I'd have let the police go alone, and he'd not have seen my face.
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Using "If.. I would have". (2)

Three years ago, I was coming back from school, nearing my house, one street away, when a boy around five years older than me, stole my cell phone.  I mean, he ordered me to give it to him and I was afraid, so I did. I was about fifteen years old and perhaps he was about twenty. As I was close to my house, I ran to it and called my dad by phone. I told him everything that  happened and he called the police. Nearly six minutes later, the police were in my home calling for me. They asked me to go with them to try to find the thief, and as I wanted my cell phone back, I went. After about ten  minutes of looking for the thief, we found him. I recovered my cell phone, and he had some drugs too. The matter was when he looked at the police car, and I was inside it, he probably remembered who I was. After that, I was always thinking that one day, when he escapes and/or is released from jail, he'd come back and try to hurt me, or something like that. Nowadays I'm not afraid of that, but if I could I'd never have gone with the police at all - I'd have let the police go alone, and he'd never have seen my face.


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Good job.

Here's something closer to how I  would have written it.  In case you're interested.

Three years ago, on my way back from school, as I came within one street of my house, a boy around five years older than me stole my cell phone.  That is, he ordered me to give it to him and I was afraid, so I did.  I was about fifteen years old and he was perhaps twenty.  Since I was close to home, I ran the rest of the way and phoned my dad.  I told him everything that had happened and he called the police.  About six minutes later the police were at my house calling for me.  They asked me to go with them to try to find the thief, and as I wanted my cell phone back, I went.  After about ten minutes of looking for the thief, we found him.  I recovered my cell phone, but he also had drugs on him.  The problem was, when he looked at the police car, with me inside it, he probably remembered who I was.  After that, I was always thinking that one day, when he escaped or was released from prison, he'd come back and try to hurt me, or something like that.  Nowadays I'm no longer afraid, but if I could have done it over, I'd never have gone with the police at all.  I'd have let them go alone and he'd never have seen my face. 

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