correcting (better with: Looking for corrections) 

Hi (better with: Dear [as a letter writing]) Jen,

I'm writing you this letter because I really need your help. You're the only person what who knows me well enough to give me a (letter of) recommendation (or: reference) for a course I want to do take (or: apply).

I saw an advertisement in a newspaper recently, in which offered a free journalism course in Journalism is offered to successful applicants.  I sent in an article (that) I wrote for the student newspaper, you know that is (or i.e.) , the one about legalising drugs.  Anyway, they very liked it very much. but However, as (or: since) there are only five places available seats (or: seats available), they want a (letter of) reference as well.  I haven't given them your name yet, as I expect (that) this would be the first reference you've been requested (or: asked) to give.  Thus (or Therefore), is would it be OK fine if I sent them your (tele)phone number?  I think (that) they want to phone you so that they can have a proper conversation with you and really sort in order to know more about me out.

I know (that) it's been a while that we have met each other, but if you could do it, it'd would really help me out.  I've got a new phone number, which is 09957 234 563 [ N.B. I hope that it is a fake number, or you may face a lot of spam calls. ].  Should you have any questions or concerns on this reference, so you can get reach me on that through this number, and my address is always the same.

I hope to heard (better with: I look forward to hearing) from you soon.

Regards (better with: Yours sincerely or Sincerely yours), 
Patrick


Good luck, and good day.  /  祝君好運，並祝　是日安好。

Hi Jen, 

I'm writing this letter because I real really need your help. You're the only person what knows me well enough to give me a recommend reference for a course I want to do take.

Recently, I saw an advert advertisement in a newspaper offered offering a free journalism course to success chosen applicants. I sent in an article I wrote for the a student school newspaper. You know, the one about legalising drugs? Anyway, they very liked it liked it very much; but, as there are only five places slots, they want a reference as well. I haven't given them your name yet, as I expect this would be the first reference you've been requested to give. Is it OK okay if I sent send them your phone number? I think they want to phone call you so they can have a proper conversation with you and really sort me out.

I know it's it has been a while but if you could do would allow it, it'd it will really help me out. I've got a Here is my new phone number so you can reach me, 09957 234 563. so you can get me on that, and my My address is always still the same.

Hope I hope to heard from you soon.



Regards, 
Patrick