Search from various English teachers...
Rock
My sad experience Everyone has ups and downs in the life. I am on exception. It doesn't matter what happened to you. What matters is what you could learn from it. I remember I worked in the day time and went to university in the evening after my finishing army service. At that time, I didn't feel tired although it was hard and tiring for most of people. About one year passed. I didn't feel unconfortable until one bad thing happened to me. I felt a severe pain in my belly. I went to see a doctor and he said you should take a rest. However, I didn't listen to him and kept doing my job. Later on, i my pain got worse and worse and finally I had to quit my job and take a long leave from school. I thought I should have accpeted the doctor's sugestion and should not have made myself so tired. From this matter, I learned a very important thing. That is health. There is nothing more important than health. When you lose your health, it is very hard to buy it back. P.S: please correct it or give some comment . Thanks.

Corrections · 3

1

My Sad Experience...

Everyone has ups and downs in their life. However, I am one exception. It doesn't matter what has happened to you. What matters is what you can learn from it.

I remember I worked during the daytime and went to university in the evening, after finishing army service. At that time, I didn't feel tired although it was hard and tiring for most of people. About one year passed. I didn't feel uncomfortable, until a bad thing happened to me. I felt a severe pain in my belly. I went to see a doctor and he said "You should take a rest". However, I didn't listen to him and kept doing my job. Later on, my pain got worse and worse and finally I had to quit my job, and take a long leave from school. I should have accepted the doctor's suggestion and not made myself so fatigued. 
From this experience, I learned a very important thing. That is the value of health. There is nothing more important than health. When you lose your health, you can't buy it back.

*Grammar, and word selection were edited/changed to make it read more fluently (: You did a great job!

0

My sad experience

Everyone has ups and downs in  the life. I am no on exception. It doesn't matter what happens to you. What matters most is what you can could learn from it.
I remember that I used to work during  in the day time and went to university in the evening when I had just finished after my finishing army service. At that time, I didn't feel tired at all,  although I think it must be was hard and tiring for most of people.( was ? > How do you know that? )About one year passed.( This is an unfinished sentence, so it cannot stand alone). I was living my life like that for about a year, and I still found it quite manageable --  unconfortable ?? (wrong word to use) but only until something  one bad thing happened to me: I had/felt a severe pain in my belly. So, I went to see a doctor, and he told me that I  said you should take a rest. However, I didn't listen to him and continued kept doing my day job. Later on,  my the pain got worse and worse and until I finally I had to quit my job and take a long leave from school. I thought I should have accpeted followed the advice of the doctor that I   's sugestion and should not overwork myself and have more rest. have made myself so tired.
From this matter, As a result of this incident, I have learned about a very important thing that we must all treasure: our health. That is health. (Hanging sentence> cannot stand alone) There is nothing more important than our health. When you lose your health, it is very hard to buy it back.
P.S: please correct it or give some comment . Thanks.

> Most of people X > Most people/ Most of those people

> Use a colon before a short sentence to elaborate ( to give meaning to) on an earlier independent sentence > There is one thing we must not take for granted: our health.

Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today