Corrections · 11
Flowers from Kunming(Really appreciated if you can give comment about my writing)
Today I am very happy to receive the flowers which that I ordered from the internet two days ago.I was unexpected surprised that the flowers could be sent to me so rapiadly. I find that there are so many flower suppliers that provide express service from since 2016, and the service attracts so many people, because the price is cheaper than if we bought it from the flower store and there are as well as more options for us.Nowadays, the way of purchaing we buy things has been changed a lot. We are able to buy everything from the internet. For exapmle, I used to purchase life products from supermarket, but now , I order them from the online store. I can even buy some meat and seafood and they can deliever to me on the same day or no later than the second next day. It is very convenient indeed, but sometimes , I would think wonder if it is really good for us. People are social animals.If we spend more time on the internet,we will have less real talk in real life. People will get more lonely.Welcome to share your opinions!
* Hi, very nice writing on a difficult topic . Your main issue to work on I think is learning how to stop and start sentences as well as transitiong between ideas and those kinds of phrases like "X that I Y and A which is a B" I forget what they are called :) . Take a look at my corrections and how I stop and start new ideas and maybe try to rewite again.
** Also, I think your logical flow breaks down at the end - your topic is the change in the way people buy things but you end with the social isolation that can occur with too much internet use. If you planning to do any formal writing this is a no-no.Try to keep to one main topic and few supporting sentences oer paragraph. If you are only speaking, it's not as serious but the teacher will definately point this out in your writing
***My opinion? The problem I see i for shopping online is that the very talented hackers are about 2 steps ahead of the security measures to stop them! I have to think twice before I use a credit card online these days.
Flowers from Kunming (I would really appreciate it if you would comment on my writing)
I was very happy to receive the flowers that I ordered from the internet two days ago, today. I was surprised that the flowers were delivered so quickly. I find that since 2016 there are many more flower suppliers offering express service, and the service attracts so many people, because the price is cheaper than buying it from a florist, and there are more options for us. Nowadays, the way we shop has changed a lot, we are able to buy everything from the internet. For example, I used to purchase fresh produce from the supermarket, but now, I order online, even meat and seafood. It is delivered the same day or no later than the following day. It really is very convenient, but sometimes, I wonder if it really is good for us. People are social animals and if we spend more time on the internet, we will have less real conversations in real life, and people will become more lonely.You are welcome to share your opinions!
Flowers from Kunming(Really appreciated if you can give comment about my writing)
Today I am very happy to receive the flowers that I ordered from the internet two days ago. It was unexpected that the flowers would arrive quickly. I find that there are many flower suppliers that provide express service since 2016. The service attracts many people because the price is cheaper compared to buying in a flower store, and more options. Nowadays, the way of purchasing has changed. People are able to buy anything from the internet. For example I used to purchase everyday products from the supermarket, but now I order them from the online store. Even meat and seafood, can be delivered the same day or no later than the next day. It is very convenient indeed. I wonder if it would be good for people who are naturally social creatures by nature not to spend more time on the internet instead of having natural interaction with others it can possibly take away from the every day real interection. It could possibly cause loneliness.Welcome to share your opinions!
Flowers from Kunming (I'd really appreciate it if you could give me some comments on my writing)
Today I was very happy to receive the flowers which I ordered on the internet two days ago and hadn't expected that the flowers would be sent to me so quickly. I find that there have been more and more flower suppliers that can provide express services since 2016. Their services attract so many people because the price is cheaper than at the florist's, and there are many more options.Nowadays, the way of purchasing flowers has changed a lot. We are able to buy everything on the internet. For example, I used to purchase daily supplies from the supermarket, but now I order them from online stores. I even order some meat and seafood online and they can deliver to me on the same day, or no later than the second day after my purchase. It is very convenient indeed, but sometimes I wonder whether it is really good for us. People are social animals and if we spend more time on the internet, we will have less time to talk to people in real life, and will become lonelier.
You are welcome to share your opinions on this!
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