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Letter to the Editor Dear Editor, I would like to write to you in response to the article on the detrimental effects that technology has in the classroom, published on 1st April 2017 in the digital edition of The Guardian. To begin with, I have been a loyal reader of your newspaper since I started paying attention to the news. Overall, one could say that the kind of journalism I normally observe in your newspaper is unparalleled. Having highly informed journalists and collaborators, detailed accounts of current affairs, in-depth articles and exquisite reviews of books and music among others, sets The Guardian apart. However, this particular article has shocked me. On the one hand, I take exception to the fact that the article is devoid of any scientific evidence. Although the columnist claims the existence of "mounting evidence", there is no single reference to such factual data throughout the article, leading the reader to question whether it has been written in a blatant attempt to gain publicity. Technology lies the foundations of modern education. Not only does it provide students with the means to delve into any subject, but also the social gap among them is clearly reduced. Actually, it is little wonder that, nowadays, more and more youngsters make the decision to embark on a university degree, something that was unthinkable a generation ago. Following the FOI (Freedom of Information) act, I have asked the government for data that provides facts and figures to prove my thesis. I have enclosed it for your information. Finally, I would like to have my letter published in your newspaper and I also invite you to consider writing a new article shedding light on this subject. Yours faithfully, Alberto Pérez.

Corrections · 3

1

Letter to the Editor

Dear Editor (better: sir or madam),

I would like to write to you am writing in response to the article on the detrimental effects that technology has in the classroom, published on 1st April 1, 2017 in the digital edition of The Guardian.

To begin with, I have been a loyal reader of your newspaper since I started paying attention to the news. Overall, one could say that the kind of journalism I normally observe (better: find) in your newspaper is unparalleled. Having highly informed journalists and collaborators, detailed accounts of current affairs, in-depth articles and exquisite (better: insightful) reviews of books and music among others, sets The Guardian apart. However, this particular article has shocked (better: surprised) me.

On the one hand, I take exception to the fact that the article is devoid of (better: lacks) any scientific evidence. Although the columnist (better: author) claims the existence of "mounting evidence", there is no isn't a single reference to such factual data throughout anywhere in the article, leading the reader to question whether it has been (better: was) written in a blatant attempt to gain publicity.

Technology underlies the foundations (better: is the foundation) of modern education. Not only does it provide students with the means to delve into any subject, but also the social gap among them is clearly reduced. Actually, it is little wonder that, nowadays, more and more youngsters young people are making the decision to embark on a university degree, something that was unthinkable a generation ago. Following Through the FOI (Freedom of Information) act, I have asked the government for data that provides facts and figures to prove my thesis. I have enclosed it for your information. (Better: To support my claim, I'm enclosing government data that I obtained through the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA).

Finally, I would like to have my letter published in your newspaper and I also invite you to (better: ask that you) consider writing a new article shedding more light on this subject.

Yours faithfully truly,

Alberto Pérez.

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You have an excellent technical command of English, you just need to work on using simpler, more direct language to make it sound 100% natural.

grammar or vocabulary corrections

unnecessary words or phrases

more natural language


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