News Translation
In the 24th evening, Sagamihara city which is promoting measures against children's poverty held a meeting to hear opinions from a civilian's group supporting education for children. Attendants issued oppinions asking for more administrative measures to study situations of children in need.
子どもの貧困対策の強化を進めている相模原市は、２４日夜、子どもの学習支援を行う民間団体から意見を聞く会合を開き、出席者からは、支援が必要な子どもの実態把握など、行政側のさらなる取り組みを求める意見が出されました。
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Corrections · 2
1
I will break the article down into sections to explain what I am changing, and why. :)
"On the 24th,"
Because the English language handles dates as if they are being marked on a calendar. So instead of something happening 'in' a day, it would happen 'on' a day.
"Sagamihara city which is promoting measures against children's poverty "
"Sagamihara city--which is promoting measures against children's poverty--"
The change that I have added will increase the readability of the sentence. It is called an 'em dash', and is used in place of a comma when you are making a sort of side-note while writing.
"from a civilian's group" would instead be changed to;
"from a civilians' group"
The apostrophe to show possession is correct, however, as you have it written, it would show possession to one civilian.
Because this group is composed of a group of people, civilian would be changed to civilians (plural), and the apostrophe to show possession would be added to the end of the word instead of before the 's'. This is because the last letter of the word is an 's'.
It's a weird English rule. :P
"Attendants issued oppinions asking for"
"Attendants issued opinions asking for"
I'm sure this could have been just a typing error, but regardless, it would be changed if the article you are translating were to be published.
I hope the changes I've made and the explanations that followed were able to help a little. :)
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