College Life
I love the campus in which the scenery is so charming and the study atomasphere is so conducive, and we always study there with relaxation.
College life is of significance in our life. Some people say that four- year study could not only bring us konwledge, but also foster our mind to thinking and operating. I agree with it. We can not get everything in our college. what possibly is that we are able to learn how to think about an issue, how to find a way for it. The next step needs us to go by ourselves.
In order to show our college life, we adopt the means of acting.
Now, let's enjoy their wonderful performance together.
......
(uhh..I think the writing may be a little chinglish...and I appreciate that you are willing to replace some pallid descriptions~ :P Thanks!)
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Corrections · 8
1
College Life
I love campus life because the scenery is charming and the study atmosphere is conducive; students always study there with relaxation.
College life is important. Some people say that four- year study not only brings us knowledge, but also fosters our mind towards thinking and operating. I agree. But we can not get everything in our college. We must be able to learn how to think about an issue and how to find a a solution for it. These are steps we needs to take by ourselves.
In order to use the knowledge we gain in college, we must act.
Now, let's enjoy their wonderful performance together.
(Not sure what you meant by this)
......
Overall, your English is not bad. There is some basic grammar that you must be careful of because it's not the same as Chinese. Please contact me if you have any questions!
1
College Life
I love the campus in which the scenery is so charming and the study atmosphere is so conducive to learning, and we always study there in relaxation.College life is of significance in our life. Some people say that four- year study could not only bring us knowledge, but also foster our mind to thinking and operating. I agree with it. We can not get everything in our college. What possibly is there that we are able to learn, (except/perhaps) about how to think about an issue, or how to find an answer for it? The next step needs to be taken by ourselves.
(In order to show our college life, we adopt the means of acting.
Now, let's enjoy their wonderful performance together.) I was a little uncertain about this metaphor.
***
Hi Esther,
This is a lovely entry, you convey a lot of emotion in your writing. You college sounds wonderful! I only changed a few things: for instance, usually when we say something 'is conducive' we add 'to' -- so 'a library is quiet enough to be conducive to studying'. I was a little unsure about the meaning of the last two sentences, so they should perhaps be reworded. If you want to reword them in a comment below, I can try to edit them for you. Keep up the good work!
All the best,
Julie
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