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IELTS practice- please help me to correct, thanks "Some people believe that competitive sports, both team and individual, have no place in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?" It has long been argued whether competitive sports have a place in the school curriculum. Some people believe that playing sport is waste of time and students should not do it in the school. However, I firmly believe that sports have its important role in both learning and growing up for students. The first and most important reason of students doing sports in school is that they can learn how to cooperate with their team members. While a class want to win a competition, every class members ought to well-cooperated with each other to gain points. Furthermore, sports can also make students know what is athletic spirits. During a sport competition, students would understand they cannot give up before the game finished, and must show their persistence and determination to win the prize. Not only the cooperation but also the spirit can teach students right attitude on their curriculum and also further career life. For another reason is that students need to do enough exercise in order to grow up. As our body mechanism, when we do enough exercise, the brain will stimulate growth hormone and make children grow up. Likewise, the nature of children are prefer to run and do exercise in outdoors rather than staying in the classroom for practicing math and science. Thus, sport class can bring students a happy hour and get ride of the stress from exams. To sum up, playing sports can bring many benefits to students, such as learning how to cooperate with classmates and who the right spirit in different fields. Also, it is a good way for them to release their stress. For those reasons, I reclaimed that sports have its important place in the school curriculum.

Corrections · 2

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IELTS practice- please help me to correct, thanks

"Some people believe that competitive sports, both team and individual, have no place in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

It has long been argued whether competitive sports have a place in the school curriculum. Some people believe that playing sport is waste of time and students should not do it in the school. However, I firmly believe that sports have its  an important role in both learning and growing for students.

The first and most important reason of students doing sports in school is that they can learn how to cooperate with their team members. While When a class wants to win a competition, every class member should cooperate well with each other to gain points. Furthermore, sports can also make students know what the athletic spirit is. During a sport competition, students would understand they cannot give up before the game finished, and must show their persistence and determination to win the prize. Not only the cooperation but, the spirit can teach students the right attitude on their curriculum and also further career life.

For Another reason is that students need to do enough exercise in order to grow up. As our body mechanism, <----doesn't make sense when we do enough exercise, the brain will stimulate growth hormone and make children grow up. Likewise, the nature of children is to prefer to run and do exercise in the outdoors rather than staying in the classroom for practicing math and science. Thus, sport class can bring students a happy hour and get ride of the stress from exams.

To sum up, playing sports can bring many benefits to students, such as learning how to cooperate with classmates and and embrace the athletic spirit.  Also, it is a good way for them to release their stress. For those reasons, I reclaimed that sports have its important place in the school curriculum.

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