Hi! This is my fist essay and it turned to be a bit philosophic :) Hello everyone, my name is Alesya and I live in Moscow or in a country house in Moscow region (near Klin, 70 km away from Moscow). I

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Alesya

Hi! This is my fist essay and it turned to be a bit philosophic :) Hello everyone, my name is Alesya and I live in Moscow or in a country house in Moscow region (near Klin, 70 km away from Moscow). I am here to improve my English (I believe my level is intermediate now) and find new friends. I am also planning to learn German, Spanish and French, but I haven't started yet :) What should I tell you about myself? Basic stuff like education, occupation, religion and hobby? That is not interesting, I'd like to tell you what I think about this life. Our life is a great gift and a great adventure. We do not know when, where and how it will end, and it should make us value every moment more and more, find pleasure in every little things, give this beautiful world all the help we can, all good we can give. I believe that if a person has a talents, a gift in some area, he is ought to give it to other people, to offer them some help which helps to develop his gift. I believe in a world with no borders, neither on the land, nor in mind. I dream about peaceful world where everyone is safe, everyone is valued and appreciated, where all people have ability to develop themselves. Unfortunately, we don't live in the world like that yet, but we can build it with our own hands. Cross-culture communication is the key to international peace, and learning a foreign language can help us with that. I believe, that I can fully understand other people only if I am talking with them in their native language. Language forms one's mind, thats why are all cultures so different. If you have seen the movie ''Arrival'', you know, what I am talking about. Knowing other languages will broaden my mind, knowing other people from different country will help it too. I am not only looking for language practice, I am looking for new friends and people who will tell me about their country, their culture and tradition. In return, I will tell you about real life in Russia and help to improve your Russian) Lets make this world better together and start bounding it by sharing our culture)

Corrections · 7

Hello hello!

Great work overall - I made suggestions/corrections below in italics for each paragraph to break it up and try to explain as best I could. English is such a bizarre and tricky language and sometimes it's so hard to explain why something is the way it is! Hope this helps! =)

Unfortunately, my suggestions turned out to be too dang long, so I put it in a word document in my Dropbox. ^_^u Whoops.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/d9aszomwiuvrfhh/Hello%20hello.docx?dl=0

Hi! This is my fist essay and it turned to be a bit philosophic :)

Hello everyone, my name is Alesya and I live in Moscow or in a country house in Moscow region (near Klit, 70 km away from Moscow). I am here to improve my English (I believe my level is intermediate now) and find new friends. I am also planning to learn German, Spanish and French, but I haven't started yet :)

What should I tell you about myself? Basic stuff like education, occupation, religion and hobby? That is not interesting, I'd like to tell you what I think about this life.

Our life is a great gift and a great adventure. We do not know when, where and how it will end, and it should make us value every moment more and more, find pleasure in every little things, give this beautiful world all the help we can, all good we can give. I believe that if a person has a talents, a gift in some area, he is ought to give it to other people it, to offer them some help and which helps to develop his gift.

I believe in a world with no borders, neither on the land, nor in mind. I dream about peaceful world where everyone is safe, everyone is valued and appreciated, where all people have ability to develop themselves. Unfortunately, we don't live in the world like that yet, but we can build it with our own hands. Cross-culture communication is the key to international peace, and learning a foreign language can help us with that.

I believe, that I can fully understand other people only if I am talking with them in their native language. Language forms one's mind, thats why are all cultures so different. If you have seen the movie ''Arrival'', you know, what I am talking about. Knowing other languages will broaden my mind, knowing other people from different country will help it too.

I amn't am not only looking for language practice, I am looking for new friends and people who will tell me about their country, their culture and tradition. In return, I will tell you about real life in Russia and help to improve your Russian)

Lets make this world better together and start bounding it by sharing our culture)

thanks everyone) Yes, Jesus is right - its idealistic, very idealistic) Borderless world can provide many benefits for every person, i think :) More international trade - bigger the common welfare. Also, in an interconnected world its easier for every person to find their place. No borders - no war. And I believe that achievements of science and progress should be shared between the nations for common good.

I agree with Jesus. A borderless world? How is that good ? Your English is really good. though! Happy learning!

I wouldn't call your essay, philosophic. It is more idealistic. I wish you, good luck with your language learning.

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