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Iran flagSepideh
My grandmothers' blue eyes... blue eyes that were blue more than sea...my grand mother's eyes were so beautiful and as my mom was saying ever, none of them were like my grandmother and all of us have black eyes...she was very clean and scrupulous too...she had brain stroke and she had to stay just on bed....no motion on her feet....day and night nurses and many other were around her...but she was becoming thinner and thinner and her grief more and more...every time i was there she called me and wanted water from me..i took her water and he wanted me try a little of water first...exactly same glass of water i brought for her...and then she was drinking from same place i had ate...this repeated every time i was there...there were many people around her but every time he asked me to do...i had became tired...i wasn't thirsty at all...he could ask this from her nurses or other....very odd for me...she was very clean and i didn't expect this...one more time it repeated...my grandmother called me and asked me another glass of water...i paused for seconds and i brought two glasses of water this time...i ate one of them in side of my water and gave her another one...i told i am not thirsty at all...i didn't want to she drank in same place of glass that i ate too...she was very clean i didn't expect...and i asked her: you are so clean how you can do this? ...she told me you are 'seyyed' and i eat after you for getting my health...by this words i paused and i didn't know what to say...now, every time i drink water i am waiting for her hands that get glass of water from me...i am waiting for her voice that ask water just from me...but now i should pour water on the stone that your name is carved on it...now i am more thirsty...thirsty of your hands...thirsty of your voice...and thirsty of your looking of your blue eyes....

Corrections · 6

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My grandmothers' blue eyes...

blue eyes that were blue more than sea...my grand mother's eyes were so beautiful and as my mom was saying ever, none of them were like my grandmother and all of us have black eyes...she was very clean and scrupulous too...she had brain stroke and she had to stay just on bed....no motion on her feet....day and night nurses and many other were around her...but she was becoming thinner and thinner and her grief more and more...every time I was there she called me and wanted water from me..I took her water and he wanted me to try a little of water first... the exactly same glass of water I brought for her...and then she was drinking from the same place I had ate eaten...this repeated every time I was there...there were many people around her but every time he asked me to do...I had become (replace "a" with "o") tired...I wasn't thirsty at all...he could ask this from her nurses or other....very odd for me...she was very clean and I didn't expect this...one more time it repeated...my grandmother called me and asked me another glass of water...i paused for seconds and I brought two glasses of water this time...I ate one of them inside (remove the space) of my water and gave her another one...I told I am not thirsty at all...I didn't want to she drank in the same place of glass that I ate too...she was very clean I didn't expect...and I asked her: you are so clean how you can do this? ...she told me you are 'seyyed' and I eat after you for getting my health...by this words I paused and I didn't know what to say...now, every time I drink water I am waiting for her hands that get a glass of water from me...I am waiting for her voice that asks water just from me...but now I should pour water on the stone that your name is carved on it...now I am more thirsty...thirsty of your hands...thirsty of your voice...and thirsty of your looking of for your blue eyes....
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Thank you very much Elizabeth for your advice....
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When writing in English: You must ALWAYS capitalise the first letter of every new sentence. You must ALWAYS use one single full stop at the end of a sentence. You must ALWAYS capitalise the pronoun "I".
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نظر لطفتونه...ممنون
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این متن شما را خیلی دوست دارم.

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