Search from various English teachers...
Russia flagSvetlana
Technology and relationships people make Technology plays a great role in our everyday life. It is difficult to imagine how we would live without computers, cars, various types of machines and devices. Many research works nowadays are aimed to develop technology to make machines and devices more convenient, cheaper, faster, and with better quality. This all affects human life a lot but mainly brings many benefits. But let’s see how it influences the relationship between people. The invention of different types of kitchen devices, lie microwaves, mixers, multifunctional rice cookers, dishwashers and other household appliances such as washing machines, vacuum cleaner, automatically working cleaners-these all have made women’s work at home much easier and faster. Due to it, a woman has more time to spend with her family, which definitely improves the relationship between the members of the family. On the other hand, Internet and computers can have an opposite impact on how much time people spend with each other. From year to year, the number of Internet and computer users is increasing and more and more people tend to communicate to their friends and relatives via social networks. This is good when there are big distances between people. For instance, if someone has entered the university in the other city or country he or she still has an opportunity to speak with their friends and relatives very often, comparing to the past time. They can constantly keep in touch and don’t feel loneliness. However, some people are too much addicted to the Internet and social networks so that it is very difficult for them to communicate in real life. Another aspect of ever-developing technology is that there is a constant changing in models of devices. As a result, people that want to show they are modern, always compete with each other. To show an example, a new model of iPhone has been issued a person want to get it first, just to stand out from the crowd. In my opinion, this can worsen the relationship between people by causing envy. In summary, I think technology has more negative than positive influence on the way people interact with each other. We should pay more attention to our friends and relatives to acknowledge the fact that technology has only the auspicious impact on our life.

Corrections · 6

1

This is very well done! This is a very well organized and well written essay. Everything you've written is clear as written; the comments below are points that  may help you to move from your already excellent command of English to fluency. 

see additional comment- ran out of space



Technology and relationships people make

Technology plays a great (important would be usual usage for a native speaker, but it makes the point as is)  role in our everyday life lives . It is difficult to imagine how we would live without computers, cars, various types of machines and devices. Many research works (endeavors or activities fits better)  nowadays are aimed intended to develop, aimed at development of)  to develop technology to make machines and devices more convenient, cheaper, faster, and with better quality. This all affects human life a lot but mainly brings many benefits. But let’s see how it influences the relationships (plural)  between people.

The invention of different types of kitchen devices, lie like microwaves, mixers, multifunctional rice cookers, dishwashers and other household appliances such as washing machines, vacuum cleaners, automatically working cleaners  (specify- not sure what is meant by this last category) -these all have made women’s work at home much easier and faster. Due to it, a woman  has more time to spend with her family, which definitely improves the relationship between the members of the family.Comment- is it fair to say that these devices are only used or mostly used by women? In many places, both women and men work outside the home and split household chores) 

On the other hand, Internet and computers can have an opposite impact on how much time people spend with each other. From year to year, the number of Internet and computer users is increasing and more and more people tend to communicate to their friends and relatives via social networks. This is good when there are big distances between people. For instance, if someone has entered the university in the in another  other city or country he or she still has an  the  opportunity to speak with their friends and relatives very often, comparing to the past time. They can constantly keep in touch and don’t feel loneliness. However, some people are too much addicted to the Internet and social networks so that it is very difficult for them to communicate in real life.Might comment on cell phones also; while cell phones truly are computers, in the US there are far  more IPAD/IPOD addicts than computer addicts. 

Another aspect of ever-developing technology is that there is a constant changing in models of devices. As a result, people that want to show they are modern, always compete with each other.In English, a nice idiom is "keeping up with the Joneses. I'm not sure who "The Joneses" were, but the concept is that I want to have the lastest fastest best car/computer etc)  To show an example(For example, whenever), a new model of iPhone has been issued released a many people  person want to get it first, just to stand out from the crowd. In my opinion, this can worsen the relationship between people by causing envy.

In summary, I think technology has more negative than positive influence (either "a more negative than positive influence or more negative than positive influences)  on the way people interact with each other. We should pay more attention to our friends and relatives to (and might be a better word choice) acknowledge the fact that technology has only the auspicious impact on our life.




Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today