Stranger -2
It was a long day in the office, i was too tired and feeble, somehow i reach at the bus stop, buses were passing and leaving behind their smoke as an indication of their presence, "Now i have to wait for a bus? i dont know how this gonna end", many random thoughts were whirling in my mind, suddenly i saw a smiling face across the road gazing at me, it wasnt arduous for me to recognize him, he was the same morning person at the bus stop, i was flabbergasted, it was not because he was staring me or waiting for me outside, it was the the feeling of ecstasy atleast someone worried for me.
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Stranger -2
It was a long day in the office, i felt so tired and weak, somehow I reached the bus stop, buses were passing and leaving behind their smoke as an indication of their presence, "Now I have to wait for a bus? I dont know how this is going to end" (gonna is not a good word!), many random thoughts were whirling in my mind, suddenly i saw a smiling face across the road gazing at me, it wasn't difficult for me to recognize him, it was the same person at the bus stop every morning, I was flabbergasted, it was not because he was staring at me or waiting for me outside, it was the the feeling of ecstasy that at least someone was worried about me.
a very expressive piece of writing !
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Thanks Faye!!
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If you are using this writing for school, it's good. If it's a novel for the masses, then omit 'smoke as an indication' phrase and 'flabbergasted' word.
One sounds like a science text book and flabbergasted is so passé and great if you are writing a historical love story :-)
Overall, it's good
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