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United Kingdom flagDavid Linguacoach
几个灭了的灯 我写的时候,经常用我的笔记,所以可以看我学过的东西。这一次,我为想知道我能不能做的是什么就决定不用我的笔记。我也翻译因为有时候别人不懂我想说是什么 :P 其实,什么没有我特别想说的东西,但是我可以告诉你们一个短故事: Actually, there's nothing specific that I want to say but I will tell you a short story. 玛丽亚在那个非常暗的房间安静地坐着。他不怕,因为是他的决定坐在那里。如果别人知道他是个成人,无法会明白。 Maria sat quietly in the dark room. She wasn't scared as it had been her choice to sit there. If other people found out she had powers, they wouldn't be able to understand. 她知道没有人会回家在下午之前,大概在晚上九点之前。他至少有5个小时,应该够!他锻炼锻了6个月了。今天他感觉可以成绩! She knew that nobody would be home until the evening, probably until 9pm. She had at least 5 hours, it should be enough! She had been training for 6 months. Today, she felt like she would succeed. 玛丽亚关着眼睛声音低地说“开”以后第三个眼镜开了, 灯也开了。他开始唱歌。开始的时候,是个好甜的歌,不过他的歌改变了,变成恨强大,他的声音像很老又恨向。突然他的歌停,所有的灯都灭了。。。 Maria closed her eyes and in a low voice said "Open." Her third eye opened and the lights came on. She started to sing. It was a sweet song. However, her song changed. It became strong and her voice seemed old and loud. Suddenly, her song stopped and all of the lights went out... 。。。他锻炼锻了6个月了。今天他感觉可以成绩。。。他有一年的话,会能什么做? ...She had been training for 6 months. Today, she felt like she would succeed...If she had had a year, what could she have done?

Corrections · 5

1

几个灭了的灯

我写文章的时候,经常用我的笔记,所以因为可以看我学过的东西。这一次,我为想知道我能不能做到的是什么就决定不用我的笔记写文章。我也做了翻译,因为有时候别人不懂我想说是什么 :P

其实,什么没有我没有什么特别想说的东西,但是我可以告诉你们一个短故事:

玛丽亚在那一个非常暗的房间安静地坐着。他她不觉得害怕,因为是他她的自己决定坐在那里的。如果无论别人是否知道他她是个成有能力的成年人,都无法会明白她的想法。(这里的If不是如果的意思,是无论no matter的意思,不知我是否理解的正确)

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她知道没有人会在晚上九点之前回家在下午之前,大概在晚上九点之前。他她至少有5个小时,应该够了!他她已经坚持锻炼锻练习了6个多月了。今天他她感觉可以出成绩了(=快要成功了)!


玛丽亚关闭着眼睛,压低声音低地说:“开。“以然后第三个眼镜就开了, 灯也开了。他她开始唱歌。开始的时候,是个好很甜蜜的歌,不过后来他她的歌改变了,变成恨得很强大,他她的声音像很变得又老又恨向响。突然他她的歌声停了,所有的灯都灭了。。。


。。。他锻炼锻坚持练习了6个月了。今天他感觉可以出成绩。。。如果他有一年时间的话,会能变成什么做样(about她做这件事)?

1

,

几个灭了的灯

我写文章的时候,经常用我的笔记,所以因为可以看我学过的东西。这一次,我为了想知道我能不能做的是什么独立完成就决定不用我的笔记。我也附有翻译因为有时候别人不懂我想说的是什么 :P

其实,什么没有我我没有什么特别想说的东西,但是我可以告诉你们一个短故事:
Actually, there's nothing specific that I want to say but I will tell you a short story.

玛丽亚在那个非常暗的房间安静地坐着。他她不怕,因为是他她的决定坐在那里。如果别人知道他她是个成人,无法会明白。
Maria sat quietly in the dark room. She wasn't scared as it had been her choice to sit there. If other people found out she had powers, they wouldn't be able to understand.

她知道不到晚上九点左右,没有人会回家在下午之前,大概在晚上九点之前。他她至少有5个小时,应该够!他她锻炼锻训练了6个月了。今天他她感觉可以成绩成功!
She knew that nobody would be home until the evening, probably until 9pm. She had at least 5 hours, it should be enough! She had been training for 6 months. Today, she felt like she would succeed.


玛丽亚关闭着眼睛声音低低声地说“开”,以后然后第三个眼镜只眼睛开了, 灯也开了。他她开始唱歌。开始的时候,是个首好甜的歌,不过他她的歌改变了,变成恨很强大,他她的声音像听起来很老又恨向很响。突然他的歌停,所有的灯都灭了。。。
Maria closed her eyes and in a low voice said "Open." Her third eye opened and the lights came on. She started to sing. It was a sweet song. However, her song changed. It became strong and her voice seemed old and loud. Suddenly, her song stopped and all of the lights went out...

。。。他她锻炼锻训练了6个月了。今天他她感觉可以成绩成功。。。他她有一年的话,会能什么做?
...She had been training for 6 months. Today, she felt like she would succeed...If she had had a year, what could she have done?


there's nothing specific that I want to say :翻译这样的句式的时候,主语在前面

他她不怕:he=他,her=她

因为是他她的决定坐在那里:决定作动词:她决定坐在那里;决定作名词:她的决定是坐在那里

nobody would be home until the evening, probably until 9pm:翻译这样的句式时,把时间部分放在前面

锻炼锻训练了6个月:锻炼身体,训练某项技能

成绩成功!:成绩是名词:取得好成绩。成功是动词

关闭着眼睛:用于人的时候,一般用闭,闭着嘴,闭着眼

seemed:还可理解为看起来,听起来,闻起来。”声音听起来“这样更合理


1

几个灭了的灯

我写(东西or文章)的时候,经常用(翻)我的笔记,所以可以看我学过的东西。这一次,我(决定不看我的笔记,)为想知道我能不能做的(怎么样)是什么就决定不用我的笔记。我也翻译(,)因为有时候别人不懂我想说(表达)是什么 :P
其实,什么没有(什么)我特别想说的东西,但是我可以告诉你们一个短(简短的or小)故事:

玛丽亚在那个非常暗的房间(里)安静地坐着。他不怕,因为是他的决定坐在那里。如果别人知道他是个(有某种能力的)成人,(他们)无法会明白。

她知道(大概晚上九点之前)没有人会回家在下午之前,大概在晚上九点之前。他至少有5个小时,应该够!他锻炼锻了6个月了。今天他(她)感觉可以成绩(成功)!

玛丽亚关(闭)着眼睛声音低(声)地说“开”。以后她的第三个眼镜(睛)(睁)开了, 灯也开了(随之有光射了出来)。他(她)开始唱歌。开始的时候,是个好甜(首甜美)的歌,不过(后来)他(她)的歌(声)改变了,变成(的)恨(很)强大(粗),他的声音像很老又恨向(变得又老又吵)。突然(,)他的歌(声)停(了),所有的灯(光)都灭了。。。

。。。他(她)锻炼锻了6个月了。今天他(她)感觉(得)可以成绩(成功)。。。(如果)他(她)有一年的(时间)话,会能什么做(她可以做到什么程度)?

Good job. There is the same rule as English, we ues 他(he)  for male and 她(she)for female. Be careful of  choosing pronouns. Please do not translate into Chinese word for word. Because the grammars are different. 

1

几个灭了的灯

我写的时候,经常使用我的笔记,所以可以看我学过的东西。这一次,我想知道,我能做到什么水平,所以决定不用我的笔记。我也有翻译,因为有时候别人不懂我想说是什么 :P

其实,没有什么我特别想说的东西,但是我可以告诉你们一个短故事:
Actually, there's nothing specific that I want to say but I will tell you a short story.

玛丽亚安静的坐在一个昏暗的房间里。她并不害怕,就像是她选择了坐在那。如果别人发现她拥有力量,他们并不能够明白此事。
Maria sat quietly in the dark room. She wasn't scared as it had been her choice to sit there. If other people found out she had powers, they wouldn't be able to understand.

她知道没有人会在傍晚之前回家,大概在晚上九点之前。她至少有5个小时,应该足够了!她锻炼了6个月了。今天她感觉会成功!
She knew that nobody would be home until the evening, probably until 9pm. She had at least 5 hours, it should be enough! She had been training for 6 months. Today, she felt like she would succeed.

玛丽亚关着眼睛声音低地说“开!”,她的第三个眼睛开了, 光线也进入了眼镜。她开始唱起了歌。这是首甜蜜的歌,可是,她的歌变了,它变得低沉,她的声音听起来很老又很吵。突然她的歌声停下来了,所有的灯都灭了。。。
Maria closed her eyes and in a low voice said "Open." Her third eye opened and the lights came on. She started to sing. It was a sweet song. However, her song changed. It became strong and her voice seemed old and loud. Suddenly, her song stopped and all of the lights went out...

。。。她锻炼锻了6个月了。今天她感觉好像她今天可以成功。。。如果她有一年时间,她能做什么呢?
...She had been training for 6 months. Today, she felt like she would succeed...If she had had a year, what could she have done?


That's a beautiful story, i would like to read it more. And you did really good, but should notice the word "she" is "她",

and because it's a literal translation, and the grammars are different, so the Chinese is a bit weird .

I am trying to make the Chinese fluent, hope you can understand :)


玛丽亚安静的坐在昏暗的房间里, 坐在这里是她自己的选择,所以她并感到不害怕。因为别人并不能够理解,现在的她拥有一种什么力量。

她知道大概在晚上九点之前没有人会回家。所以她还有至少5小时,那足够了!她已经训练了6个月,今天她预感她将会成功。

玛丽亚闭上了她的眼睛,低声的说着“开”。灯光照进她刚睁开的第三只眼睛。她开始歌唱,那是首甜蜜的曲子。可是,她的歌声变了,变得低沉,她的声音听起来又老又吵。突然,她的歌声伴随着灯光戛然而止。

她已经训练了6个月,今天她预感她将会成功……如果她有一年时间,她能做什么呢?

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