My first work day!
My name is Bahrom and I am from Uzbekistan. My country is located in Central Asia. I have been working for 6 years for national oil and gas company as a leading engineer. I really enjoy my job and always feel happy working for this company. My company has HR department with high qualfied emploees. Moreover, my company is a one of the profitable and sustainable company in Uzbekistan. I have managed and promoted a number of huge invest projects. In addition I have been working with well known international venture companies. One of the aformentioned activity of our HR department is its policy on training and retraining of emploees in order to make more stronger our company's manager reserve composition. According on this policy my previous director sent me to study a MBA program to Scietific and Educational center for corporate governance. I have graduate this place in this year, and after that I came back to my company. Two weeks ago I started my function as a leading engineer. However, it seems a bit difficult after a student life to begin work immediately.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 3
1
My first work day!
My name is Bahrom and I am from Uzbekistan. My country is located in Central Asia. I have been working for 6 years for (1) a national oil and gas company as a leading engineer. I really enjoy my job and always feel happy working for this company. My company has (1) a HR department with (2) highly qualified employees. Moreover, my company is a(3) one of the profitable and sustainable companies in Uzbekistan. I have managed and promoted a number of huge investment projects. In addition, I have been working with well known international venture companies. One of the activities of our aforementioned HR department is its policy on training and retraining of employees in order to make more stronger our company's manager reserve composition stronger . According on to this policy, my previous director sent me to study (4) an MBA program at the Scientific and Educational Center for corporate governance. I (5) have graduated this place in this year, and after that I came back to my company. Two weeks ago, I started my function role as a leading engineer. However, it seems a bit difficult after a student life to begin work immediately.Hi Bahrom,
Congratulations on your graduation. It is always a bonus to be able to upgrade yourself while working for a good company.
Just a few suggestion for you:
(1) We use the determiner "a" when describing something for the first time (You are describing your HP department for the first time in (1) so you use "a HR department.....". You are also not specifying the name of your company, so you use "a".)
(2) Sometimes, an adverb can be used to modify an adjective. Over here, "highly" (adverb) modifies "qualified" (adjectives). Together, "highly likely" describes "employees" which is a noun. Another example would be "visually impared". "visually" is an adverb which modifies "impared" which is an adjective. Together, "visually impared" describes "people" which is a noun.
(3) When we use "one of the.....", we are focusing on ONE OUT OF THE MANY. Therefore, it should be "companies", not "company". Similarly, it should be "activities", not "activity".
(4) We use the determiner "an" when the pronunciation of a word starts with a vowel sound. "MBA" starts with a vowel sound.
(5) You are using present perfect tense to indicate your status now (graduated). It is grammatically wrong to write "have graduate" as present perfect tense is constructed using "has" or "have" + verb (past participle form). The past participle form of "graduate" is "graduated".
Hope these help.
Cheers,
Lance
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
