my winter hoilday
this hoilday l went to the Maldives with my sister.lt was very hot there that very different from china.we spent the whole day on the airplane.when got there,l felt exciting because l have never been to abroad.everything is fresh for me.l learnt l have to pay little money when the hotle clerk bring the luaage.what most impressed me is the amazing environment.everywhere is clean even l can not find bottle easily.the wild animal ,the comfortable ocean wind,it is a wonderful place to relax,l think.l want a once more chance spending hoilday there！！
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my winter hoilday holiday
this hoilday l went to the Maldives with my sister.lt was very hot there that and very different from china.we spent the whole day on the airplane.when I got there,l felt excited (past tense) because l have never been to(unecessary) abroad.everything is was(past tense) fresh for me. l learned l have to pay a little money when the hotle hotel clerk brings the luaage luggage.what most impressed me is the amazing environment.everywhere (it is better to say "everything is clean" or if you use the word everywhere you should say "everywhere you look, it is clean) is clean, even l can could(past tense) not find bottles easily. With the wild animals, and the comfortable ocean wind ,it is a wonderful place to relax, l think. l want a once one more chance at spending a hoilday there！！(corrector's note) Overall this is ok, you just need to work on the use of past tense.
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