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Taking fewer responsibilities Children nowadays have fewer responsibilities compared to the past. Some people say it is beneficial for children, others claim it is not a good approach. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Today children in general do not take as many responsibilities as in the past. While some people think that the young generation benefits from this, others do not believe that this is a good development for children. Those with a positive view towards this phenomenon would argue that with fewer responsibilities, children have more time and opportunities to do things beneficial to them. For example, they are not required to do as much housework at home as their parents were a generation ago, so they can make use the extra time to study, socialize and even do physical exercise. These activities can undoubtedly improve their academic performance, social skills and physical and mental health, which are essentially important to their future life. However, others would say that children are not doing themselves any favors by taking fewer responsibilities because this contributes to the lack of a sense of responsibility. For instance, a child who never assists his parents with chores at home is unlikely to do cleaning work voluntarily in his or her office in the future. This may be seen as a lack of initiative, which is fairly important in the increasingly competitive workplace. In my opinion, although having fewer responsibilities means more time for children to take up useful skills, they could miss something because of this. In my case, as a schoolboy, I often used to be demanded to do cleaning work at school, while children of the new generation seldom do that. It seems to me that they have a lack of belonging as a result.

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Taking fewer responsibilities

Children nowadays have fewer responsibilities compared to the past. Some people say it is beneficial for children, others claim it is not a good approach. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Today, children in general generally do not take as many much responsibilities as in the past. While some people think that the young generation benefits from this, others do not believe that this is a good development for children.
Those with a positive view towards this phenomenon would argue that with fewer responsibilities, children have more time and opportunities to do things learn things beneficial to them. For example, they are not required to do as much housework at home as their parents were  did a generation ago, so they can make use of the extra time to study, socialize, and even do physical exercise. These activities can undoubtedly improve their academic performance, social skills and physical and mental health, which are essentially important to their future life.[see note 1]
However, others would say that children are not doing themselves any favors by taking fewer responsibilities because this contributes to the lack of a sense of responsibility. For instance, a child who never assists his parents with chores at home is unlikely to do cleaning work voluntarily in his or her office in the future. This may be seen as a lack of initiative, which is fairly important in the increasingly competitive workplace. [see note 2]
In my opinion, although having fewer responsibilities means more time for children to take up useful skills, they could miss something because of this. In my case, as a schoolboy, I often used to be demanded required to do cleaning work at school, while children of the new generation seldom do that. It seems to me that they have a lack of belonging as a result.

Note: Personally, I would use a different phrase. This is because in the next paragraph, you go on to explain that initiative is important in the workplace. Therefore, I would instead write, "These activities can undoubtedly improve their academic performance, social skills, and physical and mental health, all of which are crucial to their development." That way, you can have one paragraph that emphasizes current development followed by a paragraph connecting the topic to the future. 

Note 2: I think I know what you meant you say. I would rewrite the correct sentence to be more: This may be seen as a lack of initiative, and initiative is a valuable asset in the increasingly competitive workplace. This is because in the first part of the sentence, you used the word "lack of initiative." Because of this, your topic is not "initiative." It's "lack of initiative." This is negative. When you use a comma and add the word "which," then you are introducing a phrase that gives further information to the object that came before the comma. So overall, you basically said that the workplace is looking for lazy people with no initiative.

I think you used tenses really well here. Good job!

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Taking fewer responsibilities

Children nowadays have fewer responsibilities compared to the past. Some people say it is beneficial for children, others claim it is not a good approach. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Today, children in general generally do not take have as many responsibilities as they did in the past. While some people think that the young generation benefits from this, others do not believe that this is a good for a child's development children.
Those with a positive view towards this phenomenon would argue that, with fewer responsibilities, children have more time and opportunities to do things that are beneficial to them. For example, since they are not required to do as much housework at home as their parents were, a generation ago, so they can make use of the extra time to study, socialize and even do physical exercise. These activities can undoubtedly improve their academic performance, social skills and physical and mental health, which are essentially important to their future well-being life.
However, others would say argue that children are not doing themselves any favors by taking fewer responsibilities because as this contributes to the a lack of a sense of responsibility. For instance, a child who never assists his parents with chores at home is unlikely to do cleaning work voluntarily in his or her office in the future. This may be seen interpreted as a lack of initiative, which is a fairly important personal attribute in the increasingly competitive workplace.
In my opinion, although having fewer responsibilities means allows children more time for children to take up useful skills, they could miss something because of this. In my case, as a schoolboy, I often used to be demanded was often made to do cleaning work at school, while the children of today the new generation seldom do that. It seems to me that they have a lack of belonging as a result.

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