Keep warm!
The winter is coming!
I would like to describe what I wear today. It sounds ridiculous, but it is true!
First, I wear my special heat shirt, which is with a special high-tech from Uniqlo, and I put on another white shirt. So I basically wear double tops. Second, I wear my pantyhose plus a black tight and of course my socks. Finally, when I decide to go out, I have a thin coat and a jacket. If there is an extra, yes, my fluffy caps. The winter is coming! and I will defeat it!
Could anyone help me how to make my paragraph more beautiful? I know I should avoid repeat words, but I really don't have ideas about how to do it.
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Corrections · 9
1
Keep warm!
Winter is coming!I would like to describe what I am wearing today. It sounds ridiculous, but it's true!
First, I am wearing my special thermal t-shirt, which is made from a special high-tech material from Uniqlo, and I am wearing another white shirt also. So I am basically wearing two tops. Second, I am wearing my pants plus black tights and of course my socks. Finally, when I decide to go out, I have a thin coat and a jacket. If there is an extra, yes, my fluffy caps. Winter is coming and I will defeat it!
Could anyone help me how to make my paragraph more beautiful? I know I should avoid repeat words, but I really don't have ideas about how to do it.
1
Keep warm, the winter is coming!
I would like to describe what I wear today. It sounds ridiculous, but it is true!
First, I wear my special thermal shirt, which has special technology from Uniqlo, that keeps my shirt warm. Next I put on another white shirt. So I basically wear double tops. Finally I wear my pantyhose plus a black tight and of course my socks. Finally When I decide to go out, I have put on a thin coat and a jacket. If there is an extra, yes, my fluffy caps. The winter is coming! and I will defeat it!
Could anyone help me how to make my paragraph more beautiful? I know I should avoid repeat words, but I really don't have ideas about how to do it.
This is one of my first times correcting a notebook entry, so if it's not completely correct, my apologies. :)
1
Keep warm!
The winter is here!*I would like to describe what I wear today. It sounds ridiculous, but it is true!
First, I wear my special thermal shirt, which is with a special high-tech from Uniqlo, and I put on another white shirt. So I basically wear double tops. Second, I wear my pantyhose plus black stockings and of course my socks. Finally, when I decide to go out, I have a thin coat and a jacket. If there is an extra, yes, my fluffy caps. The winter is coming! and I will defeat it!
Could anyone advise me how to make my paragraph more beautiful? I know I should avoid repeating words, but I really don't have ideas about how to do it.
*At least it is in the UK.
You wrote very well. There was very little wrong with your writing, except maybe factually; you won't beat the UK winter, but I wish you good luck trying.
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