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A visit Last week, I visited my friend Fan who was my roommate in college. She is a very nice girl, living in Jin xian.Now she works as a teacher. It took me about three and a half hours to get there by train.I met her at the train station, she hasn't changed a bit since we graduated from school, wearing a black hat and a red coat. Fan lives with her mother and her father, sister and brother all worked outside.Her mother welcomed me.And we had a happy time, we play poker together, watched TV together and shelled peanuts together.Her mother was really hospitable. Before I left, her mother sent me some snacks she made. Fan sent me to the train station and we said bye bye to each other, having no clue about when we would meet next time.

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A visit

Last week, I visited my friend Fan, who was my roommate in college. She is a very nice girl, and she lives in Jin Xian. Now she works as a teacher.
It took me about three and a half hours to get there by train. I met her at the train station, and she hasn't changed a bit since we graduated from school. She wearing a black hat and a red coat. Fan lives with her parents/mother and her father, while her sister and brother are all working out of town. Her mother welcomed me. And we had a happy time. We play poker together, watched TV together and shelled peanuts together. Her mother was really hospitable. Before I left, her mother gave me some snacks she had made.
Fan sent me to the train station, where and we said bye bye to each other, having no clue about when we will meet again/ next time.

Not bad .

A few notes > Last week, I visited my friend Fan who was my roommate in college. "Who was my classmate in college" is a clause that is not important to the main sentence. It just add additional information. A comma is required . I visited a friend of mine who I used to love > Here, the following clause is need to identify the person . No comma should be used.

>I met her at the train station,  AND she hasn't changed a bit since we graduated from school > You have committed a comma mistake here ( comma slice) When you want to join to INDEPENDENT clauses, you can either break them into 2 separate sentences or use a conjunction like I did
since we graduated from school, wearing a black hat and a red coat.>Here, you mean that she is wearing the same clothes as the time you saw her at school . This participle clause gives more information about something during the the time concerned . I sat there thinking alone in the room, knowing that any decision I make will be consequential. Think " while"  I was sitting.

bye bye to each other, having ....> here is correct > Think "while"

> Always put a space after a full-stop or a comma . ( to space them out or else your writing will look untidy.

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