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Write about the following topic: Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Nowadays, people know that advertisement is important for buyer to know the product when they buy a new product in the store. I sometimes think that advertisement exaggerate the new product to expand the purchasing power on purchasing power on purpose. I agree that buyer do not expect an exaggerated advertisement from maker and do not get annoying the product information by advertising. First of all, some people say that information including new product are very useful for our life. I personally think that all products make us work more convenient life and take user’s place to have spare time. In my case, although I buy several products during one year, I do not completely feel that advertisement is useful to choose product because I do not buy a new product right away. Regardless of good advertisement, I always set the terms to gather the product’s information by myself. That is why it is a part of tool for me to choose the new product. However, I think that it is too much way information for buyer to feel annoying. For example, If I want to buy new product, I can check the quality and function by internet and magazine. We can see other user’s reputation from other information media. Instead of this, maker can send the advertisement by any kind of media. Secondly, although we can buy product from many channel of media, sometimes people disappoint the advertisement caused by difference between real quality and advertisement’s quality. In my case, even if I expect the product quality too much, my new product is likely to be a breakdown. Therefore I do not always believe the product’s advertisement as long as I check it by myself. To conclude, I strongly believe that it does not need encouragement to expand the information as advertisement. I think companies have better to ask user’s request more than making advertisement to make better product and then I expect that advertisement will diminish less than current time.

Corrections · 2

1

Write about the following topic:

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we do not really need. Others say that advertising tells us about new products that may improve our lives.

Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Nowadays, people know that advertising is important for buyers to get to know a product before they buy it in-store. Sometimes I think that advertisements exaggerate a new product's qualities deliberately. I think that buyers should not expect exaggerated advertising claims from a company, and should not get annoying information on the product either.
First of all, some people say that information containing new products is very useful for our lives. I personally think that products make us work more efficiently thus giving us more free time. In my case, although I buy several products a year, I do not feel that advertising is completely useful in choosing them because I never make my buying decisions right away. Regardless of good advertising, I always like to do some research by myself. So advertising is just part of my method in choosing a new product.

However, I think that it is too much information for the buyer is annoying. For example, If I want to buy new product, I can check the quality and functions online or in magazines. We can see other user’s reviews from other media. {Instead of this, makers can send advertising by any kind of media. <– don't fully understand this :) }
Secondly, although we can buy products from many channels of media, sometimes people get disappointed if theres a difference between the real quality of the product and what was depicted in advertisement. In my experience, even when I have expected quality to be high, my new products often break! Therefore I do not always believe advertising.


To conclude, I strongly believe that {it does not need encouragement to expand the information as advertisement <– do not understand :)}. I think companies would be better off talking to customers and improving their products and over time there will be less need for advertising. {I think this is what you mean??}


[This is an excellent essay, I corrected mainly to make it sound more natural and native. This is an advanced topic so well done. ]

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