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Could you please correct my words , I brought it deep down from my heart! I will never ever forget her the one I love, my heart already dead with her from first look , her eyes stole the whole of me How I can reach you, I love her so much when you look at me you burn my heart. I felt bored living same days far from you shame on you! you didnt feel sorry about the bad state Im you are increasing sufferings to my heart day after day I loved you and became addicted you were the reason that changed me and I always needed you

Corrections · 2

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Could you please correct my words , I brought it deep down from my heart!

I will never ever forget her
the one that I love, ... My heart already dead died with her.
from first look At first sight , her eyes stole the whole of me  me completely
How I can reach you,
I love her so much
when you look at me you burn my heart.
I felt bored living same days far from you
shame on you! you didnt feel sorry about the bad state Im for my bad situation.


you are increasing sufferings my pain to in my heart day after day

I loved you and you became addicted addiction.

you were the reason that changed me for me to change myself and I always needed you.

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It's a little tricky trying to correct such a poetic writing. A lot of times poetry is written in very unorthodox ways, which is what makes it poetic, at least that's what I think. I can point out the lines that sound like they may need to be corrected though.


Could you please correct my words , I pulled them deep down from the bottom of my heart!

I will never ever forget her
the one I love, my heart already dead with her  (not sure exactly what you mean by "dead" and I would say "first sight" not "first look")
from first look , her eyes stole the whole of me ("the whole of me" sounds strange, maybe you can say "my soul", "my heart", "my being")
How I can can I reach you, (In this line you speak to her directly but in the next line you speak about her indirectly which is a bit strange)
I love her so much
when you look at me you burn my heart.
I felt bored living same days far from you ("same days" this doesnt make sense to me)
shame on you! you didnt feel sorry about the bad state I'm in (or maybe you could say "you left me in" instead of "I'm in")
you are increasing the suffering in my heart day after day
I loved you and became addicted
you were the reason that changed me and I always needed you


hopefully that helps you!


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