Could you correct this? Could you correct this for me?? This time, I can't write it well so if you're possible, I want you to write a model answer. The charts the level of students in UK at

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Yosuke

Could you correct this? Could you correct this for me?? This time, I can't write it well so if you're possible, I want you to write a model answer. The charts the level of students in UK at an university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010. The graphs show that the proportion of Spanish only has the most highest percentage in 2000 and 2010. On the other hand, students who speak German only are least percentage in 2000 and 2010. In 2010, the proportion of French only and German only are the same percentage. It appears that the percentage of French only saw degree of all. Besides, the proportion of no other language saw a particularly sharp decrease. On the contrary, in 2010, the division of another language and two other language increased between 2000 and 2010. In addition, compared to three languages: French, German and Spanish, in 2000, the percentage of Spanish only has the most highest of 20%, followed by French only and German only. Likewise, in 2010, the proportion of Spanish only has the most highest of 35% but French only and German only have the same proportions with 10%.(178words)

Corrections · 5

Likewise, in 2010, the proportion of Spanish learners only has is the most highest of 35 percent%, but whereas French only and German only learners have the same proportions with of 10 percent%.

In 2010, the proportion of French only and German learners only are the same percentage. It appears that the percentage of French only saw degree of all (? I do not get what you meant here). Besides, the proportion of no other language individuals who only speak English saw represent a particularly sharp decrease. On the contrary, in 2010, the division of number of people who speaks another language and two other languages increased by 5 percent in comparison to 2000 between 2000 and 2010. In addition to 2000, compared to among the three languages: French, German and Spanish, in 2000, the percentage of Spanish learners only has is the most highest of 20%, followed by French only and German' only, which are 20 percent, 15 percent and 10 percent respectively.

Could you correct this for me??

This time, I can't write it well, so if you're it is possible, I want you to write a model answer.

The charts illustrate the level of British students in UK (You cannot abbreviate UK -- United Kingdom -- in an IELTS Writing Test/a formal essay) at an university in England, who were able to speak other languages in addition to besides English in 2000 and 2010.
The graphs show that the proportion number of people who study Spanish only has the most highest percentage in both 2000 and 2010; nevertheless, On the other hand the number of students who speak German only are has the least lowest percentage in both periods 2000 and 2010 (This would be great because you can emphasize "has the highest/lowest percentage" --> a strong contrast/comparison).

Hi there, I cannot put all the corrections I made in one single text since they limit the characters that I could enter in a correction, and when I use red/blue/highlight, it takes more characters than it supposed to be. Red is for what I think is not appropriate/wrong grammar/word choice and so on; blue marks are my recommendation on those mistakes; purple is for my comments on your sentences. I would definitely recommend you to include more data in your essay. If you say "the number of people who do not speak any other languages besides English has the highest percentage", so write out what that percentage is. Whenever you talk about data, always remember to include numbers in your sentences. Moreover, in IELTS Writing task I (graphs and charts), when it comes to percentage, you will always want to write out the word "percent" instead of "%", and remember to never abbreviate names or proper nouns.

You speak on very technical ideas. I could try to correct your English, but I am afraid I might misunderstand what you intend to say. When your writing is this technical, you need to be more careful when translating.

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